Christmas--Philosophy for Everyone by Fritz Allhoff

Author:Fritz Allhoff
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2010-11-03T16:00:00+00:00

MATTHEW BROPHY

CHAPTER 11

SANTA'S SWEATSHOP

Elf Exploitation for Christmas

Imagine Christmas morning: a young tot wakes up with jubilation and tippy-toes downstairs to discover presents under the holiday tree. Mom and Dad, roused by the early morning racket, shuffle groggily from their bedroom and nod in permission that he may open up his presents. Flinging off wrapping paper, the exultant lad discovers a red fire truck! Just what he asked Santa for in his letter! The child is overjoyed; his parents pleased. Merry Christmas.

An idyllic scene, to be sure. But where did that red fire truck come from? Little does the child know that fingers as tiny as his own built it: the toil of a work-elf in Santa’s sweatshop.

Some have argued that elfs are made for such brutal labor: their crafting abilities unparalleled by human hands. Others contend that elfs are benefited by Santa’s sweatshop, for what else would they do – work in a tree, baking delicious cookies? And isn’t any elfish misery outweighed by the happiness of children on Christmas morning?

Elf labor, harnessed by Santa’s billion-dollar Christmas industry, needs to be investigated. Only then can we determine whether Santa’s labor practices are ethical or unethical. Such an exposé will prove difficult, however, as Santa is shrouded in myth and secrecy. His workshop’s exact location is undetermined. His labor practices are undisclosed. His financials are off-book. And like Thomas Pynchon or J. D. Salinger, photographs of the man seem non-existent. Indeed, some skeptics naively assert that Santa doesn’t actually exist. What better way for Santa to effectively dodge business regulations, taxes, and international law!

Given the dearth of biographical and operational information on Santa, one is left to engage in educated deduction. For instance, since Santaland doesn’t appear on any global map, in governmental tax documents, or even on Google Earth, we are left to assume that it must be a sovereign estate. As such, Santa’s workshop evades the purview of any national or global business regulations. Our evaluation of Santa’s labor practices, then, cannot be a legal evaluation, but must be an ethical one. Is Santa exploiting elf labor? Is the Fat Man keeping the little man down?

By criticizing Santa, I am not trying to be a Scrooge, who pooh-poohs children’s joy. Nevertheless, I fervently believe we have a moral responsibility to consider where these “free” toys are coming from. Nothing in this world is free. And even low-cost toys are sure to have a hidden high price. Ultimately, Santa must account for his labor practices. Mr. Claus: take down this candy cane wall!

The Myth of Christmas Elfs

According to the traditional myth, “christmas elfs” (as opposed to make-believe “elves”) are magical creatures that live with Santa Claus in the North Pole. Contrasting with Santa’s jollily corpulent stature and cherubic rotundity, elfs are a diminutive race with pointy ears and noses. They wear green outfits and contentedly craft the toys for Santa. Does anyone else find this paltry narrative dissatisfying? Naively idealistic and suspiciously deficient? Who are these elfs? Where did they come from? What do they think?

As to their exact origin, I can offer no speculation.

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