Christmas Dick by Scott Hildreth

Author:Scott Hildreth [Hildreth, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-12-21T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

I wasn’t drunk, but I had a one-way ticket to the intersection of Tequila Avenue and Stupidity Boulevard. As the elevator rose toward the sixteenth floor, my head filled with a foggy mist.

“Are you alright?” Santa asked.

“My partner…in crime…had the bright…idea…that three…shot…shots of tequila were better than one.” The words got tangled in my mouth as I tried to spit them out. “I think I’m going to be…trashed…when this stuff kicks in.”

“You’re hammered.” He took a step back. “You’re not a puker, are you?”

I shook my head. The movement caused the elevator to spin. I covered my mouth, fearing I was going to vomit.

“Never.” I almost barfed into my cupped hand as I spoke. “I don’t…puke. Ever. I just get wild…and can’t remember what happened.”

“A black out drunk,” Randy said with a laugh. “That’s awesome.”

“You look like you’re going to puke,” Dick said.

“I feel hot,” I exclaimed. “I just need some air.”

It was a lie. I needed my stomach pumped and something to eat. I hadn’t eaten since noon, and all I’d done since was drink. A chili hotdog and an ice-cold Coke would cure my woes, I was sure of it. Getting my hands on one was the problem

My only options were a glass of wine, a pack of gum, and whatever crumbs had settled into the bottom of my purse from sneaking pastries into the movie theater.

It was a weakness of mine.

I looked at Kaci. “Do you have anything to eat?” I whispered.

“I wish I did. I’m starving.”

“I want a cookie,” I murmured. “And a hotdog.”

“Oh my God.” She covered her mouth. “Are you drunk?”

I shrugged. “I’m pretty close.”

The elevator doors opened. Randy held them, and waved toward the scene of the crime. I stumbled out of the elevator and quickly turned to face the crowd.

Too quickly.

The room started spinning, giving me little choice but to sit down. So, that’s what I did. I spiraled into a pile on the floor.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Santa asked. “Get up.”

His red felt arm reached toward me. I looked at his massive hand and shook my head in denial of his request. “I’m going to sit here for a minute.”

He gave me a shitty look. “You’re trashed.”

I wagged my eyebrows. “Maybe.”

“Are you okay?” Kaci whispered.

I waved toward the empty foyer. “Go have fun, I’ll be fine.”

She took the glass of wine from my hand and carried it to the table across from the elevators. The fact that I had no idea I was still holding it gave affirmation that I was drunker than I thought.

With my bare ass stuck to the cold marble floor and my dress wadded up in my lap, I shuffled in a semi-circle, so I could face the action. Santa sauntered toward our porn studio with Randy at his side. Kaci joined them after setting my wine aside.

As they stood and talked, I filled with jealousy. I blamed my feelings on being drunk and overly sensitive, which was just as much a part of who I was as sneaking cookies into the movie theater.

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