Choose to Prevail: Unexpected Insights to Help You Overcome Challenges by Sandy Rodriguez

Author:Sandy Rodriguez [Rodriguez, Sandy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781098327781
Google: -isDzgEACAAJ
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2020-11-05T00:06:40.703523+00:00

CHAPTER 9

ALONE, BUT NOT LONELY

On March 9th, 2020, right before COVID-19 became a huge concern in Mexico, many women in that country stayed home as part of a 24-hour strike to protest alarming rates of femicide—the murder of females because of their gender—and other forms of violence. The idea was to simulate what would happen if the strikers had been abducted, killed, or otherwise made to disappear, and for their absence to be felt in society as a whole. Although the issue spurring the strike was very serious, some of the more sheltered participants were concerned about how they would make it through the day at home all by themselves without getting bored or anxious, especially since the strike included not contributing to the economy by, say, going online, shopping, or stepping out to eat. And when the coronavirus scare led to lockdowns in many countries that same year, countless people living alone expressed their displeasure at the idea of being cooped up in their houses.

These events made it clear that we can suddenly find ourselves spending time on our own because of greater forces, but even reasons far less extreme—such as a cold, poor weather, or cancelled plans—can thrust us into this situation. Just like it’s a good idea for an introvert to learn to speak in public or make small talk at parties, it’s helpful for very sociable people to learn to feel comfortable when they’re not around others.

It’s important to dispel the myth that being alone is the same as being lonely. People can experience a crushing sense of isolation in a crowd, with a partner, or even if surrounded by friends, if they feel misunderstood, ignored, or not very connected. They can also be completely happy and fulfilled when by themselves, especially when engaging in an activity they enjoy.

Still, some—who are probably also easily bored when they’re in a group—claim to feel especially bored when alone. It’s important to realize that boredom is somewhat of a luxury. Those who are worried about not being able to put food on the table are not bored. People who are in pain are not bored. If you’re bored, you probably have spare time and no major problems. Think of other negative feelings you could be experiencing—fear, worry, anxiety, distress, grief, anger—and you will see that boredom is not really all that terrible. If you’re bored, it means many aspects of your life are taken care of. Looking on the bright side of boredom can be comforting. Even better, being bored or not is up to you, at least to some degree. In fact, even when you’re out and about, chasing one thrilling experience after another, you could burn out, grow jaded, and still feel bored. However, during those times, or when home and alone, you can decide to feel differently and take action in that regard.

Of course, even if you’re confined to a small space, an internet connection allows you to be in touch with friends, make new

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