Careless Magic: A Shoplifter’s Guide to Wizardry Book 4 by Burson Ty

Author:Burson, Ty
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Argento Publishing, LLC
Published: 2021-11-30T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

Elf bootcamp started early. Someone was shaking my foot. I kicked at the offender, but they didn't take the hint. "Fine, I'm up," I mumbled. My forest bed wasn't made for me to sit up, so I sort of rolled out. Barefoot, I stumbled out of the shelter, intending to feel my way to the kitchen and the coffee maker, only the coffee maker wasn't there—neither was the kitchen. An elf was sitting next to our firepit, reigniting the flame that had gone out overnight.

"What time is it?" I croaked blinking the sleep out of my eyes.

My tormentor extended an arm with a watch strapped to the wrist. "A bit before six. Sun's already up. How'd you sleep?"

"It's still dark," I complained. It was also a bit chilly. I rubbed at my bare arms.

"It takes a while for light to reach the forest floor," the elf said.

Her voice was familiar, but I wasn't hitting on all cylinders. "Coffee?"

The elf looked up and smiled. "Afraid not. I can make you some tea, though."

I slumped to the ground. The elf had the fire lit and was hanging the metal pot above it. When she repeated her question about my night's rest, I recognized her as one of the elves who had led us here.

"Connie, right? I slept on branches next to a troll who snores like a vacuum cleaner. How'd you think I slept?" I rubbed my temples, already regretting my decision to stay.

She smiled and held out a piece of bread. "Or, I have fruit if you like."

I begged off because I had to pee. Connie saw me looking around. She held up a single finger. I nodded. "Anywhere should be fine. You'll need to dig a hole for number two, though, or you'll get visitors you don't want."

I already had a visitor I didn't want. "You didn't by chance bring toilet paper?"

She pointed to a tree to my right. "That maple will be happy to share its leaves with you. You can wash your hands in the lake."

I retrieved the flip flops from the lean-to and tromped off. I left the security of the camp for a little privacy. Squatting in the open forest, I took a moment to reflect on my poor choices. All I’d had to do was walk away and save my revenge against Patty for another time. She absolutely deserved to get her ass kicked, but I bet she wasn't up at the crack of dawn pissing in the woods.

When I returned, Connie laid out some strawberries and some ugly tomatoes along with the chunk of bread on a flat rock next to the fire. "Bon appetite."

"I don't do breakfast," I said sourly. "How's the tea coming?"

Connie had added something to the boiling water. It looked like sticks and dried leaves. It didn't smell like anything. "You got an Excedrin instead?"

"I'm making birch tea from what I've scrounged about. I brought the holly from our garden. It has some caffeine. Give it a few more minutes.

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