Burdened to Death by Meg Perry

Author:Meg Perry [Perry, Meg]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Crimes & Mysteries, M/M
Published: 2013-10-08T22:00:00+00:00

Thursday March 28

First thing Thursday morning I presented my first research instruction session of the spring quarter. As I was passing the circulation desk on the way back to my office, a voice said, “Hi, Dr. Brodie.”

I glanced at the desk. Grace Cavender was standing behind it, beaming at me. I must have looked puzzled, but said, “Hi,” and kept going. About fifteen minutes later I got an IM from Connie at circulation. “Coming to see you.”

I typed back “OK.” A couple of minutes later, Connie breezed into my office and closed the door. “You’re in trouble.”

She was laughing, so I didn’t think I was in too much trouble. I was wrong. “How so?”

“Miss Grace Cavender, work-study student médiocre” - she used the French pronunciation - “has a crush on you, mister.”

“Oh, God. Did you explain the facts of life to her?”

“I did. She seems to be laboring under the delusion that gay men just haven’t met the right woman yet.”

“Oh, hell no. Call her off, Connie.”

“I’m trying. But let me tell you, the girl’s favorite books are the Love Comes Softly series.”

“What’s that?”

“Historical Christian romance fiction. She thinks the fact that you’re a history specialist is a sign from God.”

I groaned. “She’s an undergrad, right? Tell her how old I am.”

“I did. She thinks the age difference is just right.”

“Tell her I’m not a virgin. Tell her I hath lain with men. And I liked it.”

Connie had never really stopped laughing but that got her laughing even harder. So much so that there was a knock on the door and Liz stuck her head in. “What the hell’s going on in here?”

I waved her in frantically. “Get in here. Emergency strategy session.”

“About what?”

Connie told her. By the end of it Liz was laughing too. “This is great.”

“This is the opposite of great. What’s the matter with you? I need a plan to get this girl off my case.”

“Oh, c’mon.” Liz wiped her eyes. “Haven’t you ever had to deflect a woman’s attention before?”

“No!”

Connie was still giggling. “You’ve fended off twinks before, right? How different can it be?”

“Not Christian twinks. If I ask her nicely to stop and she doesn’t, I can’t tell her to fuck off.”

“Sure you can. Maybe she’ll be so offended she’ll never speak to you again.”

“I also can’t tell her that because I can’t say that to anyone at work. And I’m sure as hell not going to have any interaction with her away from this building.”

Liz said, “I think your best bet is just to be monotonous. Everything she says to you, say, ‘I’m gay. I’m gay. I’m gay.’ Over and over. ‘What’s your favorite color, Dr. Brodie?’ ‘I’m gay.’ ‘How’s this weather we’re having, Dr. Brodie?’ ‘I’m gay.’ ‘Where are the American history books kept, Dr. Brodie?’ ‘I’m gay.’ Maybe she’ll give up.”

Connie said, “I don’t know. She’s pretty sold on you.”

“Well, unsell her! Maybe that what you need to say over and over. ‘He’s gay. He’s gay.’”

“I can try.” Connie got up. “I just thought I’d better warn you.

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