Bump This by Lt Ville

Author:Lt Ville [Ville, Lt]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Gay & Lesbian, Urban, Gay, Fiction, United States, African American, Genre Fiction, Literature & Fiction
Amazon: B007TAYPEG
Publisher: Lustyville Press
Published: 2012-04-10T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15 – Old Habits

D was my boyfriend but only our family and close friends knew about us. We mostly kicked it at my place. In my eyes, D was a down low brother minus the chick. I caught him pushing up on a couple of girls. He said he had an image to maintain because real men didn’t fuck other men. I knew he was talking out of both sides of his neck because a few minutes later he would say something about not giving a damn what anyone thought about us. He cared whether he admitted it to himself or not. I cared too, but not to the extent that he did. Figuratively speaking, we were both trapped in the closet, but D was ducked down behind me trying to use me as a shield. He was afraid of being openly gay. He told me his father would probably rather lose him to the streets than find out he was dating a guy.

D’s favorite explanation for how we were towards each other was: shit is the way it is. I hated it when he said it the first time, but it grew on me. I would think about my mama’s situation and say to myself, ‘shit is the way it is.’ My mother was a fucking drug addict. She never gave up drugs completely but I made excuses for her. I thought it was good enough that she wasn’t doing the hard stuff so I kept my mouth shut about the weed because everyone smoked except me. I didn’t do any research on drug addictions until it was too late. If I had I would have known that she had no damn business doing drugs of any kind. Period.

‘It was kind of fucked up that I was the reason for her relapse. It could have been anything that set her off. Why did it have to be me?’ that was what I was thinking as my leg

shook vigorously. D and I were watching a college basketball game. I was nervous because my mama was coming home and I expected her to arrive at any minute. He grabbed my knee and

held it firmly. “Stop!”

He let go and my leg resumed its movements. “I can’t,” I told him.

He put his hand back on my knee and applied the same firm grip and then he started massaging his way up my thigh. “I know something that will take your mind off of whatever

it is.”

“Would you stop it?” I shoved his hand away. He thought having an orgasm made everything okay. His sex drive was fucking insatiable and no matter how much he assured me that he was willing to wait, I knew it wasn’t the truth. He had already cheated on me once and it was only a matter of time before he slipped up again. It was my fault. I mean I wanted to give him what he wanted but something about me or him or the idea of being with someone like that made me pull away.

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