Broken Promises by Rebecca Barber

Author:Rebecca Barber [Barber, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-28T04:00:00+00:00

GILLIAN

By the time I got home I had calmed down. Well, as much as anybody who had just had their life packed into boxes by their husband and been evicted from their own bedroom could. I knew Joel was going through something and had been for a while, but I didn’t care anymore. I know that’s a horrible thing to say about your husband, but in all honesty, I was too tired of putting up with his shit for anything more. For months I had played the supportive wife. I hadn’t complained when he fell into bed, drunk beyond words and reeking of cigarette smoke and cheap perfume. I’d stopped asking if he would be home in time for dinner. I’d even given up trying to make him feel guilty about missing our lives. To me, it seemed that Joel had long ago forgotten those words we’d exchanged when we’d made our wedding vows. I’d stood by him when no one else had. But enough was enough. My girls needed me and they deserved a better life than this one.

It’s funny, I never would have thought of packing my things and moving out. Despite all our problems, it just never occurred to me. But once Joel had made the first move, once my life was in boxes, I realized I didn’t want to go back into that room. It was the last place I wanted to be. And with that realisation, I raced into the laundry, threw on my old gardening clothes, and got to work.

Within an hour all my boxes were out of what would now be known as Joel’s bedroom. My stuff was neatly packed away in the guest bedroom. My pillows on the bed, my toothbrush in the holder next to Bianca’s and Charli’s, and my perfume stashed on the highest shelf in the cupboard out of reach of little princesses. My clothes, the ones Joel had decided not to shred or destroy, now hung in the closet. Honestly, I thought it would hurt more than it did. I’ll admit I was completely shell shocked that I didn’t feel a thing. It was like, in some strange way, I knew this was the best thing for me. Separation. Being Alone. Now I just hoped that at some point I could stop being scared.

Stepping back and looking at my handiwork, I wiped the sweat from my brow. Suddenly I felt okay again, as if it was over. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that he’d never come home and we could just be happy here without him. But even something as simple as moving down the hall seemed like an enormous achievement. And possibly more important, relieved.

My back ached and I was exhausted, but a mum didn’t get a night off. Jobs had to be done. And if you couldn’t rely on anyone else to do them that just meant you had to step up and do them yourself. So, I did. Every day. I did whatever it was that needed to be done.

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