Bitin' Back by Vivienne Cleven

Author:Vivienne Cleven
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction/General
ISBN: 9780702250477
Publisher: University of Queensland Press
Published: 2009-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

NINE

He’s Comin Out

‘Nevil, are ya gonna wake up to yerself n get down to the footy trainin whit the Blackouts?’ I slam the carrot cake down on the table.

‘Mum, I ... I just don’t know if I want to play,’ he throws Trevor a curious look.

‘Don’t wanna play! What sorta talk is that?’

‘I—um, just don’t think I can any more.’ He drops his head.

‘He’s sick of it, Missus Dooley,’ Trevor interrupts, his eyes meetin mine.

‘Ohr, I get it. So this is your idea, Trevor?’

‘No, no, it’s not.’

‘Seems mighty funny to me that Nev was doin okay til you come along. This ain’t the city, Trevor. Kids like Nevil ain’t got that sophistikation you fancy boys from the city got.’ I slice into the cake.

‘They’ll be all right without me.’ Nevil reaches cross to grab a hunk a cake.

‘Bull. The Blackouts need ya, Nevie. What, yer gonna let em down now? Let poor ol Mum down. Yeah, that’s right, Nevil, let poor ol Booty down? He so proud a ya, son. It’ll kill him is what’ll happen.’ I plonk onto the chair n stare hard at him.

‘Ain’t letting anyone down. Mum, football’s just a game, it’s nothing to me! Fucking hell! There’s more to life than throwing a ball across a bloody field. Can’t you see that!’

‘It’s everythin—you know that! Ya got real talent, Nev. Ya could go places. Everybody knows you the best player round here, son. Yeah, Trevor, don’t be givin me that look cos ya jus don’t understand. I bet you never had to fight for anythin in ya life. This is the one chance for me boy to do somethin decent. To be a winner. Whatever ya gonna say, don’t, cos it be nuthin to me.—So, Nevil, what ya want? To hang round the house playin dress up, is that it?’ I give Trevor a look of disgust then I glare back at Nevil.

‘You just don’t understand. How can I ever tell you anything when you just don’t want to listen. Yeah, that’s right, Mum, you never listen to anything I tell you. I never wanted to play football. It was your dream. Yeah, Mum, your and Uncle Booty’s dream, not mine. I always wanted to do something different. To be someone different. I can’t be living a lie. Cos that’s what it is. Yeah, Ma, a dirty big lie! I can do other things apart from football! It’s just that you and Uncle could never really see.’ He pauses. ‘Ah, what’s the point. You’re never going to listen anyway.’

‘Nev, don’t say that. That’s not true. I always listen. And what the hell ya mean, ya wanna be different! What sorta talk is that! I just don’t know ya any more, son. It’s like somebody else comed along n took the real Nevil away.’

‘It’s true and you know it. You, Uncle Booty, all this town want me to be one thing and I never have any choice, do I? You set out to make me into the person you wanted me to be.

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