Billy Bishop Goes to War by John Gray

Author:John Gray
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Billy Bishop, World War 1, Theatre, Drama, Canada, Canadiana
Publisher: Talonbooks
Published: 2012-12-03T00:00:00+00:00

ACT TWO

The PIANO PLAYER plays and sings “The Bold Aviator.” This mordant little song (the lyrics are authentic from the period) can be performed as a drinking song, as a singalong, or as a plaintive ballad.

PIANO PLAYER: (singing)

O the bold aviator lay dying,

As ’neath the wreckage he lay,

To the sobbing mechanic beside him

These last parting words he did say:

“Two valves you’ll find in my stomach,

Three sparkplugs are safe in my lung;

The prop is in splinters inside me,

To my fingers, the joystick has clung.

Then get you six brandies and sodas,

And lay them all out in a row;

And get you six other good airmen

To drink to this pilot below.

Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,

The connecting rod out of my brain;

From the small of my back take the crankshaft,

And assemble the engine again.”

The song ends. Immediately the PIANO PLAYER launches into the “Survival” theme, as a much-altered BISHOP speaks as though giving advice to a novice pilot.

BISHOP:

Survival. That’s the important thing. And the only way to learn survival – is to survive. Success depends on accuracy and surprise: how well you shoot, how you get into the fight, and how well you fly – in that order. I can’t fly worth a shit compared to someone like Barker or Ball, but I don’t care. If I get a kill, it’s usually in the first few seconds. Any longer than that, and you might as well get the hell out. You’ve got to be good enough to get him in the first few bursts; so practise your shooting as much as you can – after patrols, between patrols, on your day off. If I get a clear shot at a guy, he’s dead. Ever heard of “flamers”? That’s when you bounce a machine and it just bursts into flames. Now I don’t want to sound bloodthirsty or anything, but when that happens, it’s very satisfying. But it’s almost always pure luck, you hit a gas line or something like that. If you want the machine to go down every time, you aim for one thing – the man. I always go for the man.

The music stops and the PIANO PLAYER takes the part of the M.C. in a French cabaret.

PIANO PLAYER:

(French accent) Ladies and Gentlemen. Mesdames et Messieurs. Charlie’s Bar, Amiens, proudly presents …Ze Lovely Hélène!

BISHOP takes the part of a Dietrich-like cabaret singer. He and the PIANO PLAYER sing.

HÉLÈNE:

Johnny was a Christian, he was humble and humane,

His conscience was clear and his soul without a stain;

PIANO PLAYER:

He was contemplating heaven when −

HÉLÈNE:

− ze wings fell off his plane.

PIANO PLAYER:

And he never got out alive?

HÉLÈNE:

Non. He did not survive.

George was patriotic, his country he adored,

He was the first to volunteer when his land took up the sword;

PIANO PLAYER:

And a half a dozen medals were −

HÉLÈNE:

His posthumous reward.

PIANO PLAYER:

And he never got out alive?

HÉLÈNE:

Non. He did not survive.

They sing chorus together.

HÉLÈNE & PIANO PLAYER:

So when you fight, stay as calm as the ocean,

And watch what’s going on behind your shoulder;

Remember, war’s not the place for deep emotion −

HÉLÈNE:

And maybe you’ll get … a little older.

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