Big Fat Food Fraud by Jeff Scot Philips

Author:Jeff Scot Philips
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Regan Arts.

11

* * *

THE COUGAR ATTACKS

After a year of being partners with Aaron and Jason, I would have thought we might have established a monthly revenue that Jason would be happy with. I was wrong.

“Last month’s numbers weren’t as high as I’d projected,” Jason said. “We need a boost.”

Sensing where this conversation was going, Brie beat my hand to the vodka bottle on my desk and disappeared into the other room with it.

I put the phone back to my ear. “We could promote another weight-loss challenge.”

“No,” he shot me down. “That’s too short-term. Your chefs at the second kitchen enjoy putting their culinary skills to work, though, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, I just emailed you a list I put together—some new meals that they’ll enjoy making. We’ll send them out to our best customers as a sort of focus group, and they’ll respond and let us know which food they like and want to order more of. Take it to the B-kitchen this morning and have the chefs get to work on it.”

I pulled up the email and skimmed through the list of meals. “I’ve got to say, Jason, this list doesn’t look like it’ll fall inside our nutrition guidelines.”

“Maybe not, but that’s OK. This is just a test—we’re not changing anything yet.”

“Yeah, but if customers try these new meals and decide they want them moving forward, we’ll have to make them. And I can tell you, just from looking at these, that my whole weight-loss program will unravel with these recipes.”

“Let me handle this, Philips. You don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t know, man—”

“For fuck’s sake!” Jason raised his voice. “What is it with you questioning every single thing I say?”

“I’m trying to make sure we’re making the smartest decisions here, and you’re fucking it up right now!” I snapped back.

“It’s a focus group, Philips! The whole point is you ask consumers what they want so you can better cater to their needs. Don’t you want to give our customers what they want?”

“Yes, we’ve been over this, but if—”

“OK, then,” he interrupted me in a calmer tone. “Now that that’s settled, I’ll expect to have the new samples ready by the end of the week.”

There was no point in continuing to argue with him; besides, I needed to save my energy for the battle with Cryin’ Kevin that I knew was about to take place.

I walked into the other room to find Brie power-cleaning the kitchen in silence.

“What’s the matter?”

She spun around. “You’re changing!” she blasted.

“How am I changing?”

“The Jeff I know wouldn’t do this kind of stuff to his food, to his labels, or to his customers.”

“Babe, it’s just a minuscule change. Come on, the customers are still—”

“And you think this is helping you?!” She held up the vodka bottle. “This is numbing you! It’s making it easier for you to go along with this crap!”

I knew she was right, but all I could do was stand there silently.

“We’re supposed to be partners,” she continued, “but I don’t want to be part of a company that does this sort of thing.

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