Beyond The Sheets: A BRAE Anthology by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-05-20T18:30:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWO

NATE

Detoxing is a bitch.

I’ve been through it more times than I can count, and yet I still go back to using time and time again.

But isn’t that why they call it addiction? Because no matter how bad it is when you come down from the high, that high is all you can think about.

I’m also realizing this: I’m at the point that I’m lucky to still be breathing and not rotting six feet under. I know that if I don’t actually try to stay clean this time, I’m going to lose more than I already have. And I’m not sure if I’m okay with that.

When the shakes and sweats come on, when I’m at my weakest, that’s when I start to think that I don’t give a shit, because all I want is not to feel like this. When I’m puking so much it’s like a fucking exorcism is happening, but still… I hate feeling. And I don’t mean feeling sick. I’m talking I hate fucking feeling.

That high, man… That’s worth more than all the Grammys, music awards, money, celebrity hookups and even fucking Lola to feel that.

I hate—and I mean hate—rehab. I’ve been to four now, and that doesn’t even include the addiction therapists I’ve been sent to. But a deal is a deal, and even though you can call me a liar and manipulator—like most addicts—I do try to keep my word. Most of the time. Unless the score is better. Okay, yeah, my word is shit. But I’m here. I’m… trying.

“You got a light?” Turning my head, I lift a brow at this girl who is determined to push every fucking button I have while I’m here. I’m calling her my ultimate sobriety test while.

Standing up from where I’m leaning over the railing on the wraparound porch outside, I flick my lighter, lifting the flame to the end of the smoke that’s between those lips that won’t quit.

“Thanks,” Gabby says, leaning back and taking a deep inhale. When she blows out the smoke, you can visibly see tension leaving her body. At least for those first few seconds. “What?” she bites when she opens her eyes.

“You smoke that like it’s more than just nicotine.”

“Maybe I’m pretending it is.”

“You alright?” I ask, although I have zero fucks to give if she really is or not. The question left me without consent. I don’t like that new side effect of being sober. Don’t like that one bit.

She stares at me a moment, before licking her lips and taking another inhale. “Don’t worry about it, Playboy.”

“That’s the problem now. See, I’m invested.”

She gives me a sideways look that could rival that of a certain blonde I know. The thought makes me chuckle, but I put a hand over my mouth to smother it, taking a drag instead.

“Fucking stop doing that,” she says, sounding more than annoyed. “Just fucking let yourself laugh.”

I hold up a hand in defense. “Look, Princess, I wasn’t trying to start anything. You clearly have had a day.

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