Between You and Me by Joanna Horton

Author:Joanna Horton [Joanna Horton]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ultimo Press
Published: 2023-02-08T00:00:00+00:00

12

IN THE FIRST hot week of spring we went to Stradbroke Island, the four of us: me, Heidi, Paul and Alex. We took two cars on the ferry across the bay, and then we drove to the rented holiday house at Point Lookout on the winding road that cut through thick green bush on either side. I went in one car with Paul, and Alex and Heidi went in the other. Paul and I played the Avalanches song about Frank Sinatra, singing along with the chorus, and I thought: This is like being in a movie about happy, carefree young people. This is the kind of thing I’ll remember when I’m old. Or would I? Part of me wished – for the first time since Jack and I split up – that I was still working on my film project, so I could have recorded the moment and always kept it with me.

In the early evening, we went for a swim. The water was baby blue, tinted pale pink with the setting sun, and the waves spread their lacy foam across the surface. We were all a little drunk and we swam for an hour, laughing and tossing a tennis ball between us. I dived under the water and opened my eyes to the sting of salt, stayed under until my breath burned in my lungs, and then I burst back up, my hair heavy and matted on my shoulders. Mari had stayed at home, apparently sick with a cold, but I thought she was probably spending the week with Jack. It would suit her nicely to have us all out of the way.

I was still playing with the idea of the three of us having dinner together; I hadn’t decided if I wanted to go ahead with it. There was an appealingly sophisticated aspect to it, as if we were part of a bohemian milieu where trivial bourgeois emotions like jealousy had no currency. And part of me did believe that sexual jealousy was a capitalist construct, that monogamy relied on the concepts and language of private property. I had read long articles about this online. Jealousy also seemed, ultimately, too small a concept to describe how I felt about Mari and Jack. What I’d said to Mari was true: the chemistry between them had always brought a charge to my relationship with Jack. Even now, the idea of them kissing and touching each other wasn’t altogether unpleasant to me. Physically, they were so well suited: I could imagine their long, lean bodies twining around each other like vines.

I hadn’t asked Mari how things had started between them, but over the past few weeks I’d spent some time trying to imagine different scenarios. Had she got drunk and made a spontaneous proposition? Had she planned it out beforehand? Tested the waters via text message? In any case, I was certain she’d been the one to initiate; Jack was too passive. But maybe I wasn’t certain after all, because I’d

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