Between Wild and Ruin by Jennifer G. Edelson

Author:Jennifer G. Edelson [Edelson, Jennifer G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bad Apple Books
Published: 2019-08-26T04:00:00+00:00

Fifteen

Four-Letter Words

A week before my birthday, Liddy gives me a letter from Mom. Mom asked Liddy to hold it until I turned eighteen, so Liddy put it away, then in the drama that followed Mom’s death, forgot about it. Until last night, when she finally unpacked the last of her boxes. From my bed, the letter glows in the morning sun. I’ve been staring at it, propped unopened on the ledge of my easel, for hours now, terrified of what’s inside.

Wrapped in a thick blanket, I get up and shuffle to the envelope, then flop back into bed, gripping the square tightly. Across the envelope’s crisp surface, the words: “To my darling Ruby” leap out at me in my mother’s blocky script. My hands shake, so I bite my nails, wondering what could possibly be so important she had to write it down.

After a few anxious minutes, I rip the envelope open—fast, the way you rip off a Band-Aid, hoping to be good and finished before you realize it’s off. The envelope holds a single sheet of paper, and I read it while I hold my breath.

Ruby, love, you’re finally eighteen. Can you believe it? Eighteen, and really more Liddy’s child than mine. Two peas in a pod you both are, and I couldn’t be more grateful. My guess is, I’m not there to celebrate with you, and knowing you, you’re mad. I don’t blame you, sweetheart, but I want you to know nothing you or Liddy did brought any of us to this moment. I’ve always loved you and always will. I regret nothing, least of all you and the joy you’ve made of my life.

If you’ll allow me, I’d like to leave you with something wise. So here it is. Don’t let your head be your only guide, and don’t let anyone convince you your instincts are wrong. Pay attention. Look past the obvious. Accept things beyond your control, but always fight fiercely for what’s yours. Don’t let anyone convince you that you don’t have enough strength. It’s that fight, in the end, that defines all you are and become. I want you to be happy, Ruby, and when you learn to trust yourself, you will be. You are already true. One day, you’ll be True of Heart.

Happy birthday.

Love, Mom

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