Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) by Andie M. Long

Author:Andie M. Long [Long, Andie M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B01E1BTSHO
Published: 2016-06-06T23:00:00+00:00

There’s no dining room in my small terrace, but that’s okay with me. It’s one less place I have to keep clean and tidy. I have a tiny table in the corner of the kitchen where we eat. Myself and Trey take our usual places around the small table. Leo joins us. He looks ridiculous. His tall frame doesn’t do very well at our cramped table. His leg keeps accidentally kicking mine, and he repeatedly apologises.

‘No, Leo. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise I’d be having a giant over for lunch.’

‘Fee fi fo fum,’ Trey yells.

‘What?’ Leo raises an eyebrow.

‘Watch and learn,’ I tell him. I recite the nursery rhyme while I get up from my seat and take thudding steps towards Trey, who shrieks with delight. I pull up his tiny tee to expose his soft belly and as I shout that I’ll grind his bones to make my bread. I blow raspberries on his tummy as Trey howls with laughter.

‘Again. Again.’

I sing it twice more before telling him he must eat his lunch before I’ll do it again.

‘It's a delight to watch you two together,’ Leo tells me. ‘You’re a natural at this mother thing, Beth.’

My mouth goes dry. ‘No, I’m not. I’ve muddled through the best I can.’

Leo holds a hand up. ‘We may have not been together long, but I know enough about you that you would never muddle through motherhood. You’d give it your all.’

‘I do give it my all. I’ve still had to muddle through. There’s no one-size fits all guide to being a parent.’ I suck on my top lip before adding. ‘I’m so sorry, Leo.’

He wipes his mouth with the piece of kitchen roll I’ve put out in place of a napkin. ‘Sorry doesn’t bring back the last three years.’

He says it quietly but I flinch at his words.

‘But thank you for raising our son to be this gorgeous delight. You will have to give me time, Beth. Just like I need to get used to parenthood. I need time to be able to accept what’s happened over the last few years.’

I nod.

‘Would you ever have told me? If I hadn’t seen you that day?’

I shake my head. ‘No, Leo. But that’s more about me than you. The more time has passed, the harder it's been to envisage getting in touch with you. The fear of losing my son has been too great. When you’re a parent, it's crippling,’ I confess. ‘I spend every waking hour fretting that I will put him in danger somehow. I childproof the house, but he still falls over and cuts his knees. My parents have him every Friday night so I can have some time to myself, or see Cam, but I barely enjoy myself because I’m wondering what he’s doing without me. He’s just started nursery and I immerse myself in making chocolates to distract myself from worrying if he’s being bullied by other children or assaulted by staff.’

‘Damn, I never thought of any of those things before now,’ says Leo.

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