Babysitter's Club Jenny by Jordan Silver

Author:Jordan Silver [Silver, Jordan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Published: 2020-05-16T16:00:00+00:00

Jenny

I’m nervous as hell. I mean every word I say to him but I know that what happens tonight will decide where we go from here. I know that if he keeps thinking that his mess up was too big, that he’d hurt me too much and have to make some grand effort that it’ll take forever.

I want to just cut through all the bullshit and get us to where we would’ve been had our lives not been interrupted. I want the dream. And though I’d been willing to lick my wounds and walk a different path when he was married, there’s no way I’m stepping back now that he’s free. I’d be a fool if I did that.

We’re working at cross-purposes here though him and I. He thinks he needs to start over, to woo me and make up for the way he treated me. And I’m already past that. “You told me you would marry me when I turned eighteen. I’ve been eighteen for six months already. Get your shit together.”

I like shocking him, making him laugh at the unexpectedness of the words that come out of my mouth. It’s been hell keeping this side of myself hidden from him. Not that I’m always this bold and forthcoming with others, but this is the way I’ve always seen the two of us together.

It’s the way my parents are with each other; they still act like two high school kids running around the house after each other. I want to laugh and play with him. Wake up and smile at him because we’d had a good night together in bed. But I understand that I’ve had years of imagining us while this is all new to him.

“So, your divorce, that I do want to know about. Is it final, or…?”

“Very final, at least the legal side of it. I still don’t know where Lauren is, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to show up at some point with some half-ass excuse, which I have no interest in hearing.”

“What about your heart? Is it healed? Any lingering feelings? Do you still miss her?”

“That’s the funny thing; I don’t. I’ve been thinking about how quickly I lost all feeling for her, and it only makes me madder at myself.”

“It’s because you didn’t love her.” I felt his body jump beneath me.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I know you. You were going through the motions, just like after the accident. You were just doing what you thought you were supposed to do.”

“You seem pretty sure about that.”

“I am, you’re not allowed to love anyone else but me in this lifetime and the one after and the other and so on and so on.” I love the way he looked at me, that light of interest in his eyes.

“Kinda bossy, huh.”

“It’s good, you know.” It felt too good being in his arms like this, being close and having his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder, food forgotten, and wrapped my arms around his neck.

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