Audition & Subtraction by Amy Fellner Dominy

Author:Amy Fellner Dominy [Dominy, Amy Fellner]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: cookie429, Extratorrents, Kat
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Published: 2012-01-13T13:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

“Mom?” I called. I ran down the stairs and around to the kitchen. Empty—just the slosh and hum of the dishwasher. We had to pick up Lori in fifteen minutes, or we’d be late for the movie. “Mom?” I called again.

I glanced at the hall clock as I jogged for her bedroom. I’d wasted forever looking for something decent to wear. I knew I had a crappy wardrobe, but tonight I’d hit a new low when I discovered a Hello Kitty T-shirt still hanging in the back of my closet. How was I supposed to fake-date without the right clothes? I’d finally settled on jeans and a green cami, figuring no one would notice because they’d be staring at my shiny, smooth hair. Except racing around the house in a panicked sweat was ruining the look (which took thirty minutes with a hair straightener!). No way was I going to be ready in time.

“MAHHHHHHM!” I scanned her empty room.

“In here,” she called from the direction of the bathroom.

I rounded the corner, and had just a second to register Mom standing by one of the double sinks. Then she whipped around, lunged forward, and shoved a squirt gun in my face. “Hold it, Babyface,” she hissed.

I gasped and tripped backward two steps.

This person—who I would never admit was my mother—stood decked out in a white dress, thick tan panty hose, and the ugliest white shoes I’d ever seen. She wiggled the gun and grinned. “What do you think?”

“You look like James Bond in a nurse’s dress.”

She straightened and posed with the gun by her face. “Bond,” she said in a low voice. “Jane Bond.”

I groaned. “Promise me you’ll never do that voice again.”

She laughed. “I’m just trying to get into character.”

Mom didn’t look like herself, that was for sure. Her brown hair usually hung straight to the top of her shoulders, but she’d pinned it back in a bun. Her cheeks were accented with blush, and she’d outlined her lips in deep plum so her teeth looked really white.

I watched as she picked up something that could have doubled as a basketball net, and fitted it over her hair.

“What is that thing?”

“It’s a hairnet, part of my costume.” She turned to face me, her eyes glowing as bright as the mounted vanity lights. Or maybe it was all the purple eye shadow she’d put on. “I get to whip it off in the final act when it’s revealed that I’m actually a bodyguard.”

I groaned again. It was either that or scream.

“It’s a very interesting story,” she said. “A billionaire widow lives in a nursing home when she meets one of the residents and they fall in love. But her children are afraid he’ll get her money.” Mom tapped her chest with the barrel of the gun. “I pretend to be her nurse, but secretly I’m there to keep this man away. With force, if necessary.” She grinned. “I’m just not sure where to carry the gun. What do you think? Should I strap it to my leg with a garter?”

“No!” I cried.

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