Attachment-Focused Parenting by Daniel A. Hughes

Author:Daniel A. Hughes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2014-06-02T16:00:00+00:00

Developing Empathy

Empathy is a natural response to being with another person. Our brains are wired to experience empathy for others. If we have experienced empathy from our attachment figures, it is easy to access empathy for those who see us as attachment figures. We easily have empathy for our children when our parents also showed empathy for us. When we fail to experience empathy for our child, it is often because we are distracted by other things on our minds that we think might be more beneficial to the child, including problem solving, teaching, correcting, fixing, or rescuing. If we can delay those responses, see them as having little or no value at that time, then the way is cleared to allow empathy to emerge. Then being aware of it and allowing it to express itself is often all it takes to be with our child empathically.

It is important that the parent be comfortable with the emotions that the child is experiencing. As the parent facilitates her own emotional development, she is also increasing her readiness to experience empathy for her child when he needs it.

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