Are You the One? by Debbie Martin

Author:Debbie Martin
Language: eng, eng
Format: epub
Tags: dating, relationships, internet dating, online dating
ISBN: 9781780921150
Publisher: MX Publishing
Published: 2012-01-10T16:00:00+00:00

A quote from Tom: ‘...I want a date / a companion / a friend (and a lover) but I also like my freedom (I’m off to play golf in a minute) and so I am not sure that I am ready for a relationship...’

And then there was Jack - in a friend’s words, ‘It seems you’ve either stumbled on James Bond or Walter Mitty. (I am well acquainted with the ... tendency to turn molehills into mountains, so do stay cautiously sceptical, won’t you?).’

Jack was the everlasting Don Quixote; always tilting at windmills - real or imaginary - because he saw ‘a challenge’ and his philosophy was that life is short; never pass up any opportunity to do something exciting or challenging. The only problem with this is that sometimes in following your nose towards ‘a challenge’ you can miss the other things that are right under your nose that maybe aren’t such an exciting ‘challenge’, in that sense, but might be life altering and enriching way beyond whatever the exciting ‘challenge’ is.

I met Jack at exactly the same time as I met Brian (more about him later), and sensed an odd connection so real with him that I made the immediate decision to refuse any further invitations from Brian - and told him so; which I think is what set off the interminably difficult relationship with him in the first place - I placed myself firmly in the position of a prize to be won in his eyes. But Jack was a wanderer, an adventurer, a man always looking for the aforesaid ‘challenge’ - and not in the romantic sense. He worked then on investigating difficult criminal cases in an emotionally charged environment. He was plainly enamoured of his work, and passionate about it too. He had a testosterone-laden high level career background, still rode motor bikes for pleasure and seemed to thrive on the fact that, even now, his work made him potentially an ‘active target’ for the people he investigated.

Although we did seem to ‘click’, and he claimed that we ‘would meet again’, whilst I tentatively prompted him with an encouraging text after the ‘date’, he remained annoyingly aloof from me, whilst plainly still accessing the dating site we’d met through more or less on a daily basis. Hot-head that I was at the time, I labelled him firmly as one of the male ‘players and time-wasters’ I’d encountered, gave him two barrels of a very incisive opinion of his ‘type’ via a message on the dating site, and told him to never darken my mobile phone again. This time the aggressive prompt similar to that directed at Peter didn’t put reverse psychology to work, and he didn’t!

A whole year passed, and my life changed dramatically with it. I revisited my beliefs and attitudes and experiences in a revelatory way. All of a sudden, I was much calmer, much more tolerant, much more objective, and much more accepting that the road of life twists and turns in

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