APESHIT by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Exter Press
Published: 2013-08-29T22:00:00+00:00

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A bluetit pried a thistle seed from the tube feeder that hung outside Boris’ second story flat. The two-note call of her mate reminded Boris of a squeaky swingset laden with child. Boris put down another book he had lost interest in reading and sipped his Rosy Lee tea. Enchanted Seas should have been fascinating stuff. But his heart felt like a teacup without a saucer. One could still have tea without it, but it just wasn’t the same. There wasn’t that satisfying chink of the spoon hitting the plate or the fragile resting place between sips. It had been over a month since he retired from the zoo. And he felt listless for the first time in ages. He had been so busy wading through his retirement and pension paperwork, he had not been back for a visit. Perhaps it was for the better, he thought, make a clean break of it.

He spotted the Cancun brochure that was wedged between the Evening Standard and the book about Mayan culture that he had finally finished. The bottom half of the brochure had turquoise water framed by tropical fuchsia flowers and said: TO PARADISE. He knew the top half said: ESCAPE. A place in the sun to sip a fruity drink and smoke an imported cigar. An all-inclusive week in Cancun was exactly what he needed. He had invested his money wisely, so there was nothing stopping him. He had no children, no nieces, no nephews, no worries.

Boris picked up the brochure and stared at it. The sound of honking from the street below penetrated his reverie, and he peered out the window. A decrepit plaid-trousered codger inched a metal zimmer across the intersection. He stopped to rest frequently. The sound of horns screeched from beneath slick silver bonnets of cars, driven by slick young executives, impatient to reach their slick offices. The old man stopped, his mouth hanging open. That will soon be me, Boris thought with a grimace. And then the phone rang.

“Mr. Freeman? I hope I’m not bothering you.” The caller identified himself as Ian MacDowell, the head veterinarian at the zoo. The man’s lilting Irish brogue was thick, and Boris wondered if he misunderstood the title. Why is he calling me?

“No, of course not. What can I do for you, Mr. MacDowell?” Boris tried to sound casual, as if men of such caliber called him every day.

“It’s our Mountain Gorilla, you see. She’s gone off her food, and will drink very little water. Frankly, we’re concerned. She’s become quite lethargic. And then there’s the lowland gorilla that we brought in for company. We thought perhaps a younger gorilla would be a suitable companion, but she completely terrorized Gertrude.” He sounded quite deflated, even for an Irishman, Boris thought.

Did the man say Gee is not eating? Boris felt a lump growing in his throat. “I’d like to help, but…You do know that I worked for the janitorial department, don’t you?” Boris wondered if there had been some mix up in the personnel files.

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