Angel of Ashes and Dust, Wormwood Trilogy, Book 3 by D.H. Nevins

Author:D.H. Nevins [D.H. Nevins]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: D.H. Nevins
Published: 2022-10-06T00:00:00+00:00

17

I stared at the clear sky. Vast. Open. Empty. The location of the sun placed it past midday—perhaps approaching the late afternoon. I sighed as I gathered up the supplies Tiamat had left for me. He clearly knew I would be hungry—and thirsty, I noted, as I eyed the canteen—but I had no stomach for the food.

I unscrewed the cap with slow movements, needing the water within, yet feeling like I didn’t deserve it. I felt heavy, right through to my soul. Although I couldn’t seem to identify my emotions. Am I feeling angry? Guilty? I shook my head at myself and took a long drink of water. It was just a stupid fight, I told myself. But I didn’t feel convinced. Returning the cap, I slung the canteen’s leather strap over my shoulder.

And then there was the food… I stared at it in distaste. Normally, I would have thought he was being considerate, that despite how upset he was over what I had done, he still cared enough to make sure I would be okay. But now? If I were to see him the way he wanted me to, then I would have to face the possibility that his motivations weren’t so kind. So… maybe he left the food to make me feel guilty. Or perhaps to make me feel like I owed him something.

No. I won’t believe that. I picked up a rock and threw it. Far. Then I grabbed another and another. They hurtled through the air and smashed off rocks and stumps. They embedded themselves into the ground or disappeared past where my eyes could see.

Snatching up the satchel of food, I slung it over my shoulder with forceful, vigorous movements. It smacked against the canteen, which only annoyed me further. So with a huff, I shifted the food to my other shoulder as I started walking. It was time to head back to the caverns, and it would be a long walk. I had to see how the encampment fared on their return trip… but mostly, I needed to apologize. For a lot. Maybe, just maybe, they would be willing to hear me out.

Yet, walking was more difficult than I thought it would be. It was far, and I was tired. Weak. No, I’m sad, I realized. And … I had to admit that I was dreading my reunion with my friends—if I could even call them that now. I dwelled on the things I had said to them. I let the thoughts sap all my energy. Richard was right, I thought… I am wretched.

I sighed as I forced my legs to continue, as my selfish, innermost coward whispered that I should avoid facing them right now… to let a little time pass first. I can make myself scarce for a while. I have some food and water.

No! my inner self interjected. I stopped walking and clenched my fists. I had to get a hold of my thoughts. I couldn’t believe I was letting myself spiral so badly.

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