Analog SFF, Sep 2005 by Dell Magazine Authors

Author:Dell Magazine Authors
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Dell Magazines
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Copyright © 2005 by Eric James Stone.

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Take Me to Your Liederkranz by Lawrence M. Schoen

A Short Story

What's in a name?

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Tuesday afternoon and Jacob was going about his job, doing all he could to save the world. Again. His black suit contrasted sharply with the bright white walls of the hospital as he stalked down the corridor seeking the secondary trauma ward in the north wing. He quietly entered the near-empty room and walked toward the occupied bed. “Gouda,” said the teenage girl sitting there. Jacob studied her. Curls of bright red hair peeked out from the edge of the bandages around her head. Her left arm was in a cast. She wore a beige hospital gown with a random pattern of blue speckles. A woman stood next to the bed, holding a book, talking to the girl. She looked Chinese, middle-aged, and wore a white lab coat. Jacob consulted his notes.

"Dr. Wu?” he said. “My name is Jacob Saltzman. I'm with the State Department. I take it this is your patient, Elizabeth Saunders?"

The woman looked up at him, somewhat startled. That happened a lot; Jacob had a habit of moving very quietly.

"There's really no need for you to have come out all this way,” said Dr. Wu. “As I explained in my email, Ms. Saunders's condition, while unusual, certainly doesn't merit an investigation."

Jacob glanced around the room, cataloging its contents. Several plastic crates lay scattered randomly about, filled with everything from staplers to mittens to wooden chess pieces. A low table contained the remnants of lunch: a pizza delivery box, a two-liter bottle of cola, plastic cups, and paper napkins. He turned back to the room's other contents, the girl and her doctor. “On the contrary, and not to state the case too strongly, but I believe her condition is critical to the future well-being of every person living on the planet. Now, why don't you bring me up to speed on what you're doing? What's that book in your hands?"

"Gouda,” said the girl in the bed, and then with a nod toward Jacob, she added, “Gjetost” and smiled.

"It's a reference work, Mr. Saltzman. Though to my patient it's the word ‘Gouda.’”

"In your email you indicated she was doing fish."

"That was yesterday,” said the doctor. “She started in on cheeses this morning."

Jacob nodded. He was beginning to get a glimmer of an idea. He stepped closer to the bed. “Hello, my name is Jacob Saltzman. I'm from the State Department. Can you understand me, Elizabeth?"

She nodded to Jacob and called out to him. “Gjetost! Gjetost!"

"Understanding you isn't the problem,” said Dr. Wu. “You can see the video tapes if you like. One minute she's labeling everything as fish, and the next she's wheying in with cheeses.” She fluttered her fingers, and added, “Sorry, I've been hearing nothing but cheeses all day, and if I didn't resort to a bit of word play, I'd have gone loopy by now."

"You're sure it's labeling? Not just some kind of domain-specific babbling?"

"Oh, yeah.

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