An Occasionally Happy Family by Cliff Burke

Author:Cliff Burke
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780358469513
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2021-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

Twenty-One

The next morning was the Fourth of July, and Dad was up early talking about the glory of the United States. He said that we should also focus on celebrating our country’s many wonderful qualities instead of fixating on the fact that he’d been hiding a secret girlfriend for seven months.

Laura argued that while America certainly has some good qualities, it was also a country founded on Native American land that shipped in slaves and didn’t let women own property or vote until the twentieth century. Dad quickly changed the subject to fireworks. I said fireworks are boring and if you’ve seen them once, you’ve seen them all. Dad disagreed and started recounting his favorite fireworks experiences until we begged him to stop.

Irritated by our indifference toward the wondrousness of America and fireworks, Dad decided to walk to the Visitor Center for breakfast. As soon as he left, Laura immediately fell back asleep. I tried to sleep too, but her persistent snoring prevented me from ever fully drifting off. After a few minutes, I gave up and instead took out my notebook.

I flipped through the first nine pages of Bob: The Boy with Perfect Memory, convinced it was the best work I had ever done. I was still at the part where Bob decides to take the pill that would turn him into Bob: The Boy with Normal Memory. I drew the scientist explaining the process. First, the scientist says, he will demonstrate how the pill works. He hooks Bob up to a machine that projects all his memories onto a big screen.

Think of the happiest days of your life, the scientist instructs Bob.

I drew three panels to represent the happiest days of Bob’s life. In the first panel is the day he turned five, when his mom threw him a surprise birthday party in the backyard with special guest SpongeBob SquarePants.

In the second panel is the day his mom picked him up early from school and took him to an R-rated movie. I drew Bob and his mom laughing in their seats as popcorn spilled into their laps.

While I tried to think of what to draw in the third panel, Laura’s snoring intensified. It became so distracting that I set my notebook aside and moved on to the next best thing: plugging in my phone and searching for Lucrecia on all existing social media platforms.

I started with Dad’s Facebook because that’s how old people interact online. Since he has only 183 friends, it was an easy hunt down to L, and Lu, and then there she was: Lucrecia Zampano. I opened another tab to search for the meaning of the last name Zampano. One site said it was Italian for “chief” or “leader.” Another said it was German and translated to “the big cheese.” Lucrecia “the Big Cheese” Zampano and Stanley “Dad” Ripley.

I went back to the Facebook tab and clicked on her profile. It was entirely private besides one profile picture where she’s wearing a plain but fashionable black sweater and somewhat smiling.

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