An Agreement with the Soldier (Necessary Arrangements Book 2) by Sadie Bosque

Author:Sadie Bosque [Bosque, Sadie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independent
Published: 2021-04-12T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

When Sam opened her eyes, she was alone in her room. The weak light peeking through her curtains indicated it was still midmorning. She tried to move and felt her muscles ache in strange places. Then she remembered last night and grimaced in pain and embarrassment.

She shifted, trying to gauge where it hurt. It seemed like everywhere. The burning pain between her legs wouldn’t go away. She still ached there and felt sore all over. It felt so good to be in John’s arms, so delicious to be kissed by him. But then he’d done that to her. That horrible thing.

Oh, God, was it always going to be like that? Would she have to endure that agonizing pain every night for the rest of her life? The thought horrified her.

After the act was done last night, she’d been shaking. At least when his comforting weight was on top of her, she’d felt somehow safe and protected, cherished even as he crooned sweet words in her ear. But then he’d given her a light kiss on the forehead and left the bed. She didn’t remember how she’d gotten back to her room after that. Perhaps John had carried her over. But why? Sam was flabbergasted and confused.

She understood now why women referred to the marital act as unpleasant. Although she wouldn’t call it that exactly. Uncomfortable, embarrassing, incredibly painful, yes. Unpleasant? No, it wasn’t that. Maybe if he’d stayed with her after, kissed her, soothed her, she wouldn’t feel so bereft. Still, could she keep letting him do it to her night after night? He said he didn’t care for an heir. Children were her idea after all. Maybe he wouldn’t mind if they didn’t do that at all. That was an encouraging thought. Until she imagined a childless future and her world darkened.

She carefully sat up and moved her pillow so she could lean her back against the wall. If the act was always this terrible, how was she to explain all those women ruining their reputations over a tryst with St. Clare? She frowned in thought. Perhaps a tryst didn’t include that; maybe it consisted of something else. Or maybe it wasn’t painful for everyone. What if she was the problem? She closed her eyes tightly, trying to shake the thought away. Surely there was nothing wrong with her. What if the problem was with John? Perhaps it didn’t hurt with all men. Maybe that’s why all women flocked to St. Clare.

Was it all right to ask her husband questions such as these? Would he even know the answers? What if she disgusted him if she told him how she felt? She didn’t want to displease him on the first day of their marriage. But she’d promised him friendship, had she not? And that implied being completely honest with each other. She took a deep breath. Oh, if only her mother was alive to advise her about such things.

Sam scrambled from her bed and rang for the maid. A moment later, the door opened and footmen brought in the bath and filled it with hot water.

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