Always For Him by Lauren Milson

Author:Lauren Milson [Milson, Lauren]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-11-29T16:00:00+00:00

Carrie

Bryan nearly leaps over his friend to get to me.

As if I weren’t already totally smitten with him, he’s walking toward me as if I’m the only person in the room. The only person in the world. The only person in the universe. It feels so silly to think about it in these terms, and I don’t want to get too excited, but I feel like everything else around us is on pause in this moment.

“Carrie,” Bryan says, slipping my hands into his. My gut is tied up in a knot, and the pulse that transfers from his hands to mine feels like something they could harness to light up this entire candy-cane and gumdrop building. “You look beautiful. Just absolutely beautiful.”

“It’s not too much?” I say as a little bit of self-doubt creeps in.

I was something of an ugly duckling growing up - ask the guys who were waiting on line behind me on senior portrait day back in high school. I had my curly hair pulled into a ponytail. I was wearing my glasses, and they weren’t the trendy kind, either. And I had braces. The guys behind me said I would look pretty if I had a makeover. I don’t know if they meant it to be nice or to be cruel, but either way, it was a reminder of what I lacked. Even if I was pretty under the big frames and metal mouth, it didn’t matter. I didn’t know how to access it, so what the hell was the difference?

So now, I always feel self-conscious when I get dressed up or even put a little effort into my appearance. I always hear the echos of what I heard in high school.

“Too much?” Brian says, twirling me around. I keep my eyes on his and can’t hide the smile on my face. He’s lending me a little bit of his confidence, and I’ve decided to accept what he’s offering. “It’s perfect. You were perfect before, and you’re perfect now. Now come on, the cocktail hour is starting.”

We make our way through the hotel lobby, where Bryan introduces me to some friends and acquaintances. There’s something in his eye when he says my name, and every time he looks at me, I feel the walls around my heart start to crumble a little bit and then a little bit more. I’m just waiting for the last crack in the wall that will cause it to come crashing down and make my heart available and open for him.

There’s something happening inside me. Every time he puts his hand on the small of my back, I feel the heat coming from him and I want him to put his hand a little bit lower. I haven’t been able to stop replaying that kiss in my head since the moment I heard Madelyn’s whistle zip through the air and rip me and Bryan from the moment.

I want him to kiss me again, but I want more from him, too. So much more.

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