All the Water I've Seen Is Running by Elias Rodriques
Author:Elias Rodriques
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2021-06-02T00:00:00+00:00
I donât think Mom ever told Grandma that Junior came to her that night. The pain of grieving and the fear that Grandma would blame her silenced Mom. When they do talk about him, they mostly catalogue what they donât know about his passing: what the police found out in their investigation, who was there when he died, and why he didnât reach out before things got bad.
Since Aubrey passed, Iâve thought a lot about all the things I canât know about her because she was so secretive, in part because she broke laws and skipped school and in part because people talked about her too much. Rumors circulated about her temper, her home life, who she slept with. The lies I told about us made that worse. Now that sheâs gone, I donât know how to atone.
My brow tenses and my lips purse. The road curves and we slide with it. Around the bend, a large F-150 approaches, a rebel flag on its front plate. A brown cloud hangs behind it. Its headlights arenât on, but they point at us. As we near, I see brown streaks scattered across its body. Theyâve just been mudding.
Des pulls over, reaches under the seat, and places the gun on his lap. Then he rests his chin on the other hand and perches a finger on his upper lip. I consider reaching for the Magnum under my seat. Anxiety floods my stomach. I donât know that Iâll be able to hold the gun still.
Des looks ahead, and I stare out the window. In my peripherals, I keep track of the slowly moving truck. Thereâs barely enough room to pass. Its mirrors near the car. Theyâre less than a foot away. I resist the urge to look at them. They drive by. I lean forward, place my elbows on my knees, and run my hands over my face. Des eases us forward. I turn on the radio. Static. I turn it off.
After an exhale, I say, You hear she moved up north?
Whoâd you hear that from?
Jess.
Blond girl with the glasses? The one who sat with you and Aubrey at lunch?
Yeah. Called her after Aubrey died. Jess said Aubrey was getting her life together. Moved in with her grandma. Became a bartender or a waitress or something like that. Met a dude who worked construction. Got engaged. Quit drinking. Was trying to quit smoking. Wanted to buy a house.
Whoâd have thought? Des says.
Not me. Definitely donât sound like the Aubrey I know.
A dull pain begins throbbing in my right hip. I stretch my leg out, pull my knee back to me, and then repeat. An old track injury acting up, as it always does whenever I sit for too long. My leg bobs. I try to calm down, but Iâm riled up. I picture myself throwing the door open and running out when Des slides to a stop at a paved, T-shaped intersection. Ahead lies the Espanola Fire Department. A single, shirtless man washes a fire truck.
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