Addicted After All by Krista Ritchie & Becca Ritchie

Author:Krista Ritchie & Becca Ritchie [Ritchie, Krista & Ritchie, Becca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Romance, Contemporary, Adult
Goodreads: 18308270
Publisher: K.B. Ritchie
Published: 2014-10-30T04:00:00+00:00

{ 30 }

LILY CALLOWAY

In the dead of night, I’m wide awake, my back pressed against Lo while his arms wrap snuggly around me. I stay utterly still, careful not to rouse him from his sleep. My thoughts won’t stop replaying what happened in the limo a week ago.

I’ve been cautious during showers, jumping in and out so I recognize when my water breaks. I don’t think I can handle having a baby anywhere but a hospital. I’m not prepared for the unexpected, and I think, maybe, that’s what being a mom is. Being able to handle all the unexpected things in life.

My arms prick with cold. I’m not ready for this. Rose having her baby first has amplified all of my fears. And I can’t push a pause button. I can’t hit rewind to gain more time.

I am stuck on this course with only one end.

Cries filter through our closed door, from the nursery down the hall. It’s the second time tonight. I hear Lo shift behind me, and I snap my eyes shut. He can’t know I’m awake. He’ll worry. And I’ll worry that he’s worrying. It’s just too much worry for two people.

“Lil…how long have you been up?”

I don’t move.

“You’re holding your breath, love.”

“Oh…” I murmur.

I open my eyes. I’ve been bested, but I’d rather lose to Loren Hale than anyone else. The hall light flickers, and I see shadows through the crack underneath the door and hear the patter of feet.

Lo’s hands find mine in the darkness, and he laces our fingers together in a strong grip. I fixate on the lamp light under the door, and my eyes attune to the baby cries that alternate between soft and incessant. In a few weeks, that will be Maximoff. And what if I can’t calm him? What if he just cries and cries with no end?

What if he hates me? And then I turn out to be a terrible mother that everyone believes me to be.

“Lil,” Lo whispers, “you’re shaking.” He props his body on the pillow and rubs my arm. “You’re cold…”

I lie on my back, and he stares down at me. Pulled away from the door, I cover my eyes with my hands. I don’t want to see the concerned wrinkles in his forehead or the pain in his amber irises at watching me tear-up.

With a breath, I say, “I don’t want to be a bad mom.”

He tugs my hand down from my cheek. “It’s okay to be scared.”

I sniff loudly, and I try to drown in his eyes, the confidence that’s flourished inside of them. “I wish I could feel more prepared…ready.”

“Will that make you feel better?” he asks.

I rub my nose with the back of my hand. “Yeah. I think so.”

He sits up and swings his legs off the bed at this. The mattress undulates from his absence as he stands. I frown and watch him saunter across the room, stopping at my side of the bed. He crouches so we’re face-to-face.

“Lily Calloway,” he

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