Ace's Fall by Erika Van Eck

Author:Erika Van Eck
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: novella, prequel

stage four:

Addiction

i don’t think a broken home is responsible for a person’s addiction. It’s easy to blame, and it certainly doesn’t help matters, but addiction is something in and of itself. It happens even in the most straight-laced families. An invisible poisonous force that becomes the chink in your armor.

It goes under your skin, over your heart, and takes over your mind. Every thought, every choice, every goddamn motivation revolves around that addiction.

Then, when you’re at your most vulnerable and don’t feel like you can go on, your habit becomes your out. You let it take over the steering wheel of your life. More often than not, it results in a life-altering crash. At some point, you have to decide if you want to take control of your life or let your addiction control it.

I chose my addiction.

Most days, I was either high or looking for my next high.

I never thought that music would be able to ruin me, but the label proved me wrong. They destroyed the core of me, and without it, I was left with a hole so deep that I needed to fill it or forget it. In the beginning of my addiction, I would have said that the drugs made me forget it, but once I was in the middle of my drug-induced storm, the line between a filler and a forgetter blurred and it didn’t matter anymore. I had a feeling of serenity that no one could take from me; I was in control of my drug intake. Not the label, not my bandmates, not my critics. No one. No one could take the feeling away from me. If I wanted to block out the world, I could. I thought it was freeing, but the truth was, I was just digging a deeper hole that ended up being much harder to get out of than I could ever imagine.

I keep using heroin while most of my other drug use stops. I drink here and there between hits, but mostly, I am H’s bitch. In the beginning, I would snort but soon that isn’t enough, and I give in to the needle.

If I could pinpoint an exact moment when I became an addict, I’d say the first time I shot up. It was the euphoria, but it came in a rush. Fuck, that rush, it’s beyond words. I’ve been chasing it ever since.

With each hit, the high gets a little bit duller. Even so, it’s not enough to make me stop.

The tour ended a few months ago, and we’re due back in the studio, yet again, to record another bestselling record. I could give a shit about a bestselling record, I just want to fucking sing what I fucking write.

The label arranged collaboration with Ignite. Not only that, but we’re headlining one of the stages at the next festival tour with them. I was hoping like hell that I could avoid Zee, but the way things are looking, he’ll be completely unavoidable.

The day comes when we’re scheduled to record our collaboration song.

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