A Very Alien Christmas by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dangerous Words Press
Published: 2020-12-01T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4

An hour later, Carolyn returned to the living room with fresh Christmas cookies and homemade eggnog. A TV tray between the two aliens held the treats, and she sat down in her armchair with her own plate.

“What is this?” Kepi asked.

“Traditional Christmas food,” she said. “Sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles, and eggnog, which is a drink made with eggs, cream, sugar and vanilla.”

On the screen, the actor and actress were in one another’s arms, their lips locked in a passionate embrace. Kepi stared at the image with an open mouth, his eyes wide.

“What are they doing?” he asked, sounding intrigued and horrified at the same time. “Is he eating her?”

Carolyn laughed. “No! They’re kissing.”

The aliens looked at one another, then at her. Sipu took one of the cookies and examined it as Kepi asked, “What is kissing?”

“It’s a way that people show affection,” she said. “There are different kinds of kisses. That one that was just on TV is a sexual kiss. That usually leads to… see? A bedroom scene. That kind of kiss often leads to sexual intercourse.”

“Sexual… intercourse?”

Sipu took a tentative nibble of the cookie. His eyebrows rose. “It’s very sweet!”

“Yes, it is.” She smiled. “Do you like it?”

“It’s… sweet.”

“Uh-huh… But do you like it?”

He looked up at her with a wide grin. “It’s delightful.”

“I’m so glad you’re enjoying it.”

Kepi watched the simulated romance on the screen, a scene that was actually pretty chaste as such things went. Carolyn thought she should turn on Netflix and find an NC-17 movie to really blow his mind. When the scene was over, Kepi shook his head.

“Sexual intercouse.”

“Well, how do your people reproduce?”

He looked embarrassed. “It’s a scientific process. Genetic material from a mating pair is combined in a laboratory and allowed to develop.”

She shook her head. “So you don’t have, you know, relations?”

“It was determined that sexual intercourse and pregnancy were activities that were too dangerous to be continued,” Kepi told her. “Also, the process is… impolite.”

Carolyn laughed. “Only if you do it right. Seriously? You don’t have sex, ever?”

“Seriously,” Sipu nodded.

“How long has that been the case?”

They had a brief discussion in their language, then Kepi answered. “Several thousand years.”

“Wow.” She sipped her eggnog. “You guys are missing out.”

“I can’t imagine what we would be missing.”

“All the fun, for one thing. And for the females, you lose the experience of actually bringing a new life into the world.”

“That’s painful and destructive,” Kepi objected. “The females’ bones are diminished as the fetus leeches calcium. Her tissues are strained, and her hormonal harmony is disrupted.”

“Hormonal harmony?” she smiled. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Sipu looked at her closely. “Have you… kissed?”

“Of course. Like I said, there are all kinds of kisses. There’s a kiss you have with your family, and a kiss you have with friends, and kisses for babies, and kisses for pets…”

“But.. have you kissed in a sexual way?”

She smiled, although her cheeks burned. “Yes. I have.”

Kepi took up the invasive interview. “And have you had sexual intercourse?”

“I… Yeah, I have, but it’s been a long time.

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