A Vampire’s Guide to Work-Unlife Balance by Matthew S. Cox

Author:Matthew S. Cox [Cox, Matthew S.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, azw3
ISBN: 9781950738601
Publisher: Division Zero Press
Published: 2022-11-30T00:00:00+00:00

24

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SLAB

T he movie’s cute.

Unrealistic as all heck, but cute. By the way, Sophia managed to clean the rug and save the popcorn, even returning it to a nice edible warmth. Magic doesn’t always save the world. Sometimes, it only prevents the last packet of popcorn from being wasted.

As the Littles are getting up to go to bed, Mom points at her. “Soph, I don’t want you getting any ideas. You are not allowed to attempt making a force bubble and sending your siblings, friends, or anyone under the age of ninety-five into space.”

Sophia holds up a hand in a swearing-in gesture. “I won’t send anyone into space.”

“Are you giving her permission to exile old folks to the outer reaches of the solar system?” asks Dad. “Seventy-five seems kind of arbitrary.”

“Of course not, Jonathan.” Mom pokes him.

“Oh.” Sierra shrugs. “I thought she was talking about Uncle Hank.”

“Do not banish your Uncle Hank to distant galaxies.” Mom holds up the Finger of Authority.

Wow. I can’t tell if she’s being serious or joking.

The Littles head off to bed. Dad and I undertake the challenging project of convincing Chloe we can’t watch Hotel Transylvania 2 now because it would be unfair to the Littles who haven’t seen it yet. She’s disappointed but we bribe her by re-watching the first movie.

My phone rings at 11:58 p.m.

Not even telemarketers call this late, so it’s gotta be important. Probably going to be annoying. Oof. I hope it’s not punishment for what happened at the soiree.

Nervous, I take my phone off the coffee table and answer.

“Sarah?” asks an unfamiliar man.

“I’ve been called worse names.” I chuckle. “Yeah, umm. Who is this?”

“Mike,” says the guy. Oh. It’s one of Wolent’s people. Not the same guy who called me about the Natasha job. They always use the name Mike for some reason. “Are you available to deal with a minor matter of some urgency?”

Ashley is usually the more accommodating of the two of us. If someone asks her for help with something, she’s not wired to be able to say no. I have the ability to say no, even if I don’t use it too often. Alas, when dealing with Wolent’s people, I turn right back into some child stuck in the ‘pleasing others’ stage of development. As long as they don’t ask me to do anything diabolical, I’ll pretty much do whatever job they send my way hoping they’ll like and trust me.

“Yeah. I can help. What’s the situation?”

“An associate ended up losing control of himself and was, unfortunately, picked up by the authorities,” says Mike.

Associate is code speak for another vampire. Losing control could mean he freaked out and went on a rampage. However, ‘picked up by authorities’ tells me the loss of control is referring to being knocked out by a wound that would’ve been fatal to a mortal.

“Ahh. So, he’s… chilling somewhere.”

“Precisely.” Mike chuckles. “He needs a ride home before morning.”

“Can do. Where?”

“Pierce County Medical Examiner.”

I nod even though ‘Mike’ can’t see me.

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