A Torment Of SIn by Charlotte E Hart

Author:Charlotte E Hart [Hart, Charlotte E]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-07-07T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

Gray

T he watch gets slung on the bed, abandoned as irrelevant. It is here. Pointless, futile and meaningless. There is no time here. It all haemorrhages into more minutes and more hours and days and weeks until the passage of time seems limitless. Although – I reach for it again and strap it around my wrist – I do need an endpoint. A finish line to end on. Otherwise, I will fall down this slippery edge with her, not caring for closure, and blow logic and balance to the wind.

“This is all your damned fault,” mumbles out of me, as I thread the bow tie.

He’s not here with me, but he might as well be. He’s in my head now, leading me down tunnels I should not be travelling and goading me for more. Live more. Enjoy more. Relax more. He showed it in that damn room while she sat on me and asked to dance.

One more dance.

Wear the tuxedo and give her my all for the night.

I could still hear his chuckles, as if nothing was relevant apart from the fucking I could delve into. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s not. I only know that there is an end to this. Has to be. Because she has begun to mean too much and I am beginning to give a damn that she does.

The grumbling continues, as I make my way through the halls and down the stairs. Too much time here. I should have left her here and not cared for what she did. Instead, I’m thinking thoughts about her, wondering about what this could have been in another life where I am not who I am with the accountabilities I have. Relax? I sneer and keep moving, searching deserted rooms for him so I can think about landing a punch that’s been brewing since he taunted me with her in the first place.

I find him eventually, fully dressed as if he’s intent on his own desire for wearing ball gowns. “What the hell is that?” I snap, walking to the drinks tray and pouring.

“A better one than yours.”

I look his midnight blue tux over, accepting the truth of that at least. “I meant, why are you wearing it?”

“Everyone is. I called a party in your honour.”

“What?”

“We’ll all waltz the night away if you’re going to fuck and think about enjoying yourself.”

“Malachi. This isn’t a coming out party. I have already fucked. As you know. You’ve won your little game of poke the bear.”

“No I haven’t. Not yet,” he says, walking to the fire and chuckling again. I sip at my drink and delve into my pocket, pulling out the bottle of pills waiting for consumption. “Obsession isn’t love. I want to see that before the end.”

The flames flicker light back at his face, highlighting the amusement he’s finding at this whole damn situation. “You’re ridiculous, Malachi. Fucking her and enjoying that is one thing, making me want her away from this place is quite another. There is no winning that game.

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