A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation by Kage Alan

Author:Kage Alan [Alan, Kage]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781934135914
Publisher: Zumaya Boundless
Published: 2008-07-14T10:30:00+00:00

6

An incredible light filled my eyes, and I thought for sure that I was on fire, mostly because of the amount of pain it caused me. My voice wouldn't work very well when I tried to speak and what did come out was a combination of unin-telligible sounds. Why was it so difficult to remember where I was and what had happened to me?

I felt something on top of me, but I couldn't tell what it was. Ironically, there was no noise. Fires made noise, didn't they? Either I'd gone deaf, too, or I wasn't really on fire. Very curious.

I think I was lying down, my head was definitely killing me, the light was too damn bright and my body felt like it had been hit by a large truck that had been speeding far faster than it should have down an LA freeway.

Where in the hell was I, and what had happened to me? Maybe I was in a hospital and feeling the after-effects of some accident we'd gotten into. The fire may have been real then, but I'd lived and my mind was blocking out the scene to save me from more trauma.

I must have been pretty scarred and burned on my head to feel the way I did. Maybe I'd need plastic surgery. I've always been told by my peers that I should have it anyway, so now I had an excuse to have it done. Who could I ask to look like?

My stomach grumbled quite loudly, and I almost doubled over in pain. The damn muscles in that area felt like they were completely shot. It did, however, force me to open my eyes.

I was in a bedroom—a normal bedroom, not some hospital room. The thing I felt on top of me was a large blanket, and the light was sunlight coming in between the blinds on a nearby window. I was getting it full in the face because I was on the top of a bunk bed.

A quick glance around turned up very little. I was alone, and my suitcase was on the floor beside the bed. Also, in becoming conscious, I noticed an extremely foul stench that I soon realized was my breath. Whatever had happened, I never bothered to brush my teeth before going to bed.

I hadn't bothered to undress, either. God, what I must look like.

The scent of freshly cooked bacon reached my nostrils, and my stomach growled again. The combination of hunger and light was what probably roused me from my sleep, something I almost dismissed as the slumber of the damned com-pliments of my imagination. What was I missing, here, other than my memory?

Actually, memory was pretty much it.

Curious as to what sudden turn my life had taken, I opened the bedroom door, made my way down a long hallway and finally emerged in the kitchen. Jenny was cooking at the stove; she sensed my presence and turned to greet me.

"Well, good morning!” She appeared far too perky for my taste.

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