A Few Seconds of Panic by Stefan Fatsis

Author:Stefan Fatsis
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group US

I just want one roster spot for one preseason game, and one play.

Pat Bowlen probably could make it happen with a phone call to Paul Tagliabue. But in the weight room he tells me he won’t do that. The owners are searching for a successor to the commissioner, who is retiring, and Bowlen says he doesn’t want to do anything that might upset his colleagues, some of whom already resent Bowlen because he’s close to Tagliabue. A special favor might be an excuse to oppose the candidate for whom Bowlen has been lobbying, a career NFL executive named Roger Goodell.

I bump into Sundquist in the lunch line. I stress how important it will be for me to dress for an actual game, and to kick in one, to truly understand what it feels like to play in the NFL. He appreciates that, but he’s unwilling to bring it up with headquarters. While he knows the league has sanctioned my presence, he has never mentioned me to officials. He’s worried that the control freaks who enforce roster rules might punish the team if they realize I’m occupying a locker. Why? Sundquist says the NFL could argue that my kicking in practice means that Jason Elam has to kick less in practice, which is advantageous to Jason Elam and the Broncos. By that rationale, I am actually helping the team prepare for the season. It’s a stretch, especially given the kickers’ light workload. Jason kicks when Jason wants to kick, period; you could add ten more of us and there would still be plenty of kicks to go around. But, given the NFL’s fine-print rules enforcement, Sundquist doesn’t want to take any chances and have the team fined or me kicked out of camp. “That’s how they think,” he says.

So while the official team position on me is don’t ask, don’t tell, there’s just a week until our first preseason game. I tell Sundquist I’ll call the NFL. I state my case to PR guy Brian McCarthy. He says he’ll bring it up with the executive in charge of roster bean counting. A few days before we fly to Detroit, word comes back: I can dress but not kick.

And that’s enough for now. My teammates are happy for me. The equipment guys are, too. I stop by and tell them to get a game jersey ready. “That’s what we’re planning for,” Chris Valenti says. “I hope you don’t mind that we spelled your name F-A-T-S-U-S.”

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