Zombie Outbreak: Holy Sh*t! by Gatkuoth Simon

Author:Gatkuoth, Simon [Gatkuoth, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2014-06-19T07:00:00+00:00

“Stay back or I’mma shot ya,” warned mohawk man

Jessica walked up to him and tried to pry the gun from the guy but he held on. Jessica tried as she could to wrestle the gun from mohawk man with no luck. Finally getting tired of the struggle, she elbowed him in the stomach, stuck her leg out, pulled him towards her and hip tossed mohawk man to the ground.

“Whoa, what the hell was that!” I asked, impressed.

“It’s a judo throw num-nuts. Now grab the gun,” she said.

I retrieved the gun that had scattered three feet from the duo when mohawk man was tossed. I looked over and saw Jessica had mohawk man in some sort of arm submission. Mohawk man started screaming for Jessica to let him go.

“Are you crazy?” cried mohawk man. “Ya gonna break my arm.”

“That’s the idea,” said Jessica.

“I think it’s a bad idea,” mohawk man answered back.

“So was saying you were going to shoot us.”

“I said maybe, maybe. I didn’t say I was actually gonna do it.”

Jessica let the mohawk man go and got to her feet. Mohawk man was writhing on the ground holding his right arm.

“Oh stop being a bitch and get up,” said Jessica.

“You tried to break my arm,” Mohawk man complained.

“If I was trying to break your arm, it would be broken already. Now get up.”

She turned and approached me.

“Give me the gun,” she demanded.

“Why?” I asked suspiciously.

“So I can shoot you for not giving me the gun.”

“Are you joking or not because I can’t tell,” I said.

“Sam, now!” she commanded.

I stared her down as she held out her hand for the gun. I did not budge. I was not going to be punk’d be some girl. She faked like she was going to hit and I jumped back.

“Give me,”she said.

I gave up the gun.

“I know that you’re not the most pleasant person to be around, at least according to my experience, but you’ve taken it to a higher level lately,” I pointed out.

“Well when you been bitten by an infect asshole and have to deal with an ass, a nerd, and a mohawk freak, you’d act a little crazy too.”

“I think she insulted us,” said mohawk man.

“Yeah,” replied Joe.

“Hey,” I said. “Why didn’t you do the same thing you did to mohawk man to that infect guy who bit you?”

“The name’s Bret,” said Bret, formerly known as mohawk man or in Jessica’s case, mohawk freak.

“You want to know why I didn’t do the same thing to the infected asshole who bit me? Shut up, that’s why?” she answered.

“I think fear froze her,” Joe added.

“Yeah, fear can paralyze a man… or woman,” said Bret.

“Sure, why don’t we have a discussion and try to figure out why I didn’t do the same to the infected man as I did to freaky-hair here.”

“OK,” said Bret. “We can sit on my deck there.”

“It’s very nice,” Joe observed.

“Yeah, it also has a retractable sunroof,” Bret said proudly.

“Shut up and get in the car. Sam, you’re driving. Bret, you’re in the passenger seat and Joe, you’re sitting behind the driver.

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