X-Plan Parenting by Bert Fulks

Author:Bert Fulks
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books

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As a teacher, I learned early on that discipline stands best on three legs: be firm, fair, and consistent. I have a relative who is neither firm nor consistent, and his kids are a mess. I refer to him as the bobby-cop dad. Think of the old caricature of the British police officer armed only with a whistle: “STOP! Or else I’ll say ‘STOP’ again!”

If you say something, it should have some weight to it, and you’d better follow through with it. Be firm and consistent. As Barbara Coloroso puts it, “children are counting on us to provide two things: consistency and structure.”III If you don’t give your kid a structure to support their growth, we all pay for it later.

Bobby-cop dad works full-time and is just trying to survive each day. He’s usually too distracted or exhausted to deal with his kids. For his own survival, he takes the path of least resistance and always spares the rod. When his kids were younger and got out of line, he relied on two tactics: ignore them or (when that became impossible) blow up and yell empty threats. My uncle once commented, “If those kids end up close to normal, it will be a miracle.” He was prophetic, but we’re still holding out for the miracle.

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