Vampire Innocent | Book 11 | How To Stop A Vampire War In Six Easy Steps by Cox Matthew S

Author:Cox, Matthew S. [Cox, Matthew S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Urban Fantasy | Dark Humor
ISBN: 9781950738328
Publisher: Division Zero Press
Published: 2020-07-31T04:00:00+00:00

18

Friends in (Very) Low Places

Sam stood at the edge of the cliff, staring down at Ronan.

It felt weird to think of him as a ‘best friend’ since they’d only known each other a few months. He’d been hanging out with Darryl and Jordan for years. However, having Ronan ‘in the know’ about the supernatural stuff allowed them to talk about things and have experiences in ways he couldn’t with his other friends. Not that he disliked them or didn’t want to hang out with them anymore… but Ronan started feeling more like a brother than a friend. Part of the family.

He didn’t like seeing him trapped on a small island in a lava river way down at the bottom of a cliff.

Ronan probably didn’t enjoy it either.

Sam considered going after him to help, but Blix hadn’t come back up. Without an ‘imp-a-chute’ to change a fall into a gliding descent, he’d definitely go straight into the lava.

The tall demon walked up beside Sam, peering down. “I hadn’t expected him to jump.”

“He didn’t jump. He forgot we were standing by a cliff and backed up too much. He fell.”

“True.”

“What’s your name?” asked Sam.

“Olmaz.” The demon struck a commanding pose. “I used to be known as Dal’Olmazkaggan the Bleak, Steward of the Fourth Plane of Torment.”

“Why’d you change it?”

“Wouldn’t fit on my Discover card.”

Sam glanced up at the demon. “You actually use Discover?”

“What other card would a demon have?” Olmaz started to chuckle, but stopped at the blank look on Sam’s face. “You don’t really understand, do you?”

“No. My dad always makes fun of them ’cause nowhere we go ever takes it.”

“Ahh yes. A delightful bit of tedium.”

“You torture and torment people?” asked Sam.

“Not in the way you’re thinking. My torments are more subtle. I make toilet seats cold in the middle of the night. Drain the ink from ball point pens at DMVs and post offices.” He examined his claws. “Make traffic in the other lane move, but as soon as you change lanes into the one where it’s going, it stops. Then the one you were in starts moving. My greatest achievement is the USB device. Despite having only two ways to orient, it invariably takes three tries to insert.”

“Wow, that’s… not really evil. More frustrating,” muttered Sam.

“Exactly.” Olmaz bowed. “My name change came about when the council realized I far more enjoyed a well-written epic fantasy novel to inciting bloodbaths.”

“Ahh.”

Olmaz whispered, “They demoted me” past the back of his hand.

Sam blinked.

“Hah.” Olmaz chuckled. “I’m teasing you. My name is and has always been simply Olmaz.” He waved dismissively while rolling his eyes. “I am not one of those self-important puffins from the Lower Three.”

Sam offered a handshake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Sam Wright. It’s technically Samuel, but no one ever calls me that except for my mother when she’s scared or super angry.”

Olmaz shook hands with him. “Pleasure to meet you, Sam.”

“Same.” Sam looked over at the demon. He only came up to the creature’s waist, but for some reason, had no fear whatsoever of him.

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