Their Marriage Meant to Be by Louisa Heaton

Author:Louisa Heaton
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2021-11-02T13:06:34+00:00

CHAPTER SIX

BEX WOKE THE next morning and just lay in bed for a moment, her body completely sated and her mind brimming and overflowing with thoughts, feelings and emotions, like water escaping a full bathtub.

Last night had been...

She sighed with a slight smile. A satisfied smile.

Last night had been amazing. Eye-opening. Confessional.

She’d experienced so much with Ethan last night—had learned so much. Ethan had had a younger sister. Or should have had one. Now she understood his parents’ natures. Why they’d never got too excited over her being pregnant with Charlie. Almost as if they’d been afraid to. The poor things... She understood, too, why on occasion his parents numbed their pain with alcohol. But she’d never known their full devastation, and now that she did she felt some empathy with them.

They had also lost a child.

Elodie.

What would she have been like? She’d be a grown-up now. Bex would have a sister-in-law. Elodie would most probably have been a bridesmaid at their wedding...

And Ethan had never mentioned her.

She understood why. Children got raised with their parents’ habits. With their wishes and desires. And if they never spoke about Elodie, why would he?

And yet...she wished that he had. Wished that he’d felt able to confide in her, his wife. Wished that he’d been able to tell her before she got pregnant with Charlie. But clearly—as she’d learned last night—Ethan dealt with trauma and upset by distancing himself from it, just as his parents did. By not talking about or acknowledging their loss.

Ethan had done the same.

And who was she to judge how someone dealt with grief?

Even after the loss of Charlie she had not really blamed Ethan for walking away, for never talking about him or being there for her. It had never been about blame. It had been about the loneliness. The abandonment. About not having her husband by her side when she’d needed him the most, in her weakest moments.

Her own response to grief was to submit to it. To allow the waves of pain to completely subsume her. But there was no wrong or right way to deal with it. Only the way of each individual. Methods might clash. Reactions might cause confusion, and in their case arguments, but their ways had never been wrong.

She understood him a little more today.

And it was wonderful to have him back in her bed. She had missed him so much, and on both occasions when they’d made love last night she had felt completely different things.

The first time, in the shadow of the Town Hall in Old Market Square, had been exhilarating and passionate, full of need and angst and a raw, lustful yearning for each other. It was as if they’d been on a diet for five years and had suddenly been presented with a buffet table and told to go wild. To stuff their faces. Grab anything and consume it as quickly as possible! Feeding a hunger that had run unabated for years with no time to stop and relish anything.

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