The Sin Funnel by Clyde Allison

Author:Clyde Allison [Allison, Clyde]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lulu.com
Published: 2019-05-26T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 8

AND AS I WHIRLED, NAKED, WITH EVE THE Cave Girl whirling nakedly by my side through the fourth dimension I felt angry, depressed and cheered—in that order.

Angry at being shoved through time again against my will, depressed at the memory of having watched Homo perfectus get extincted thanks to KRUNCH, but a little cheered that at least Eve the Cave Girl had escaped.

Right now, fifty or a hundred million years in the past, the horrid white anthropoid apes were doubtless dancing brutally around, hacking at the already mutilated bodies of Homo perfectus, smashing the first cart, the first printing press, the first indoor plumbing—gleefully setting civiliza-tion back tens of millions of years...

Then, primitive brutes that they were, they’d forget the whole scene, lurch on their bestial way to resume their journey along the ladder of evolution—downward, of course.

Leaving a shambles behind them in the cave.

And the cave itself?

Most likely it would fill up with sand and bird droppings in the space of a few hundred thousand years. While the bones of Homo perfectus turned to dust.

Only the cave paintings would remain to be dis-covered perhaps tens of millions of years later. By primitive people who would, doubtless, come to the almost correct conclusion that way back in history a kind of Eden had existed on Earth...

Since both males and females of the Homo per-fectus species tended to look quite a bit alike—that is, the males looked like other males and the females like other females—doubtless the discovers of the murals would assume that they depicted the same man and the same girl.

And concoct a legend of a happy place inhabited by a boy and a girl. The impressionistic sketches of dinosaurs would be taken for paintings of a snake. And the rusted remains of my (or more correctly Sir Ajax’s) sword—why, they’d most likely assume the sword had been used to drive the aforementioned boy and girl out of their paradise...

But enough of archeological musings, I told myself sternly. You must be ready to face the horrors of whatever era you and Eve the Cave Girl land in this time.

And even as I was telling myself this, sternly, I—

SPLASH!

—found myself floundering in a huge marble swimming pool. With Eve the Cave Girl floundering alongside of me.

I gasped, looked around while treading water. What a palace! The pool that I (and Eve the Cave Girl) had plunged into was set in a huge courtyard surrounded by huge columns, gleaming white stone buildings. A few stately palms were growing in the courtyard, likewise lots of tropical flowers. Also tropical vines, winding floriferiously around trellises made of elephant tusks... Around and about which strutted peacocks, and an ape or two...

Most curious...

Then I whirled, still treading water, as I heard the shuffle of sandals—and up shuffled a regal-looking man with a flowing white beard, dressed in flowing purple and gold robes and with a primitive crown on his head.

He stood by the side of the huge marble swimming pool and shook his regal fists at us.

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