The Shimmering State by Meredith Westgate

Author:Meredith Westgate
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books
Published: 2021-08-10T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Lucien parks one street over from Laguna Avenue so Liv won’t see his car. He is too good at this for someone who has never been deceptive in his life. He had too much freedom to sneak around; even as a teenager in the city, his mother only asked for details, to tell her a good story. Well, wouldn’t this be one?

Back in his apartment, Lucien scatters the pills across the kitchen counter. He sets one full pill aside and then cuts the rest in half to stretch his supply. When they break, their pearlescent dust coats the laminate. Suddenly—footsteps on the stairs—Lucien crouches to the floor, waiting. He holds his breath until the footsteps turn toward the apartment across the hall.

What is he doing, hiding in his own apartment? Stealing from his grandmother? This, this is him helping? He grabs a bag of coffee from the cupboard and slides the shimmering halves over the edge of the countertop into the bag. When he looks inside, her pills seem to sparkle even in the dark. The nutty, caramel smell of the grounds rises up and into the back of his throat.

Lucien pinches the single remaining pill left on the counter and lets it roll along the lines of his palm. Which one speaks to fate, which to family? Why read palms, when the answers are distilled so neatly here? Seeing his mother, in all the ages he never knew, feels like extra time with her. Not just memories, but a little more life. He pushes the pill between his lips and sucks water from the kitchen sink.

He walks over to his bed and flops down, waiting for the sedative to set in. He is more desperate than ever to leave his own guilt. As he feels the sense of Florence return, he is finally no longer alone. Maybe Los Angeles isn’t so bad when you have someone, he thinks. Even if they wait, captive, inside a bag of coffee grounds.

Lucien laughs, then can’t remember why, and then his laugh is Fleur’s—

and everyone else is laughing, too.

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