The Houseguest by amparo Dávila

The Houseguest by amparo Dávila

Author:amparo Dávila
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780811228220
Publisher: New Directions
Published: 2018-11-27T00:00:00+00:00


End of a Struggle

He was buying the evening paper when he saw himself walk by with a blonde woman. He froze, perplexed. The man was himself, no doubt about it. Not a twin or a look-alike — it was he who had passed by, wearing the English cashmere suit and striped tie his wife had given him for Christmas. “Here’s your change,” the girl at the kiosk was saying. He took the coins and distractedly stowed them in the pocket of his suit jacket. The man and the blonde were already nearing the corner. He hastened after them: he needed to talk to them, to know who this other man was and where he lived. He needed to find out which was the real one — whether he, Durán, was the true owner of his body and the man who had walked by his living shadow, or if the other man was real and Durán only his shadow.

The couple walked arm in arm and seemed to be happy. Durán couldn’t catch up with them. At this hour the streets were packed with people and it was hard to get through the crowd. Turning a corner, he didn’t see them anywhere. Thinking he had lost them, he felt that anguish he knew so well, a mix of fear and anxiety. He stood looking all around him, unsure of what to do or where to go. He realized that it was he who was lost, not them. But then he caught sight of them stepping onto a streetcar. He made it aboard just in time, with his mouth dry, almost out of breath; he tried to spot them within the crush of humanity. They were toward the middle of the car, near the exit, trapped like him, unable to move. He hadn’t been able to get a good look at the woman. When they’d walked by on the street, she’d seemed beautiful: a beautiful blonde, well-dressed, on his arm? . . . He was anxious for them to get off the train so he could approach them. He knew he couldn’t bear this situation for much longer. He saw them move toward the exit and step down. He tried to follow them, but by the time he made it off the streetcar, they’d disappeared again. For hours he scoured the nearby streets for any trace of them, but in vain. He went into different shops and bars, peered into the windows of the houses, lingered on the street corners. Nothing — he couldn’t find them.

Defeated, rattled, he took the streetcar back. This unlucky encounter had increased his usual feeling of insecurity to the point that he no longer knew if he were a man or a shadow. He went into a bar — not the one where he normally drank with friends, but a different one where no one would know him. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He needed to be alone, to find himself. He had several drinks, but he couldn’t forget the encounter.



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