The Gay Gospel: A Survival Guide for Gay 20Somethings in America Today by Zirilli Justin Luke

Author:Zirilli, Justin Luke [Zirilli, Justin Luke]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: BoiParty Books
Published: 2014-11-17T23:00:00+00:00

Abuse is Never Okay

Abuse, either physical or emotional, is never okay in a relationship. I don’t care what excuse might slither up from this evil act. It will never be a good enough one.

Couples fight. They fight about everything in the world spanning from who left the toilet seat up to the guy one of them may have been flirting with at the Home Depot. I advocate arguing. It’s an important part of a relationship. But these arguments should never devolve into a physical attack or a verbal thrashing.

The day that you or your partner raises a hand or a truly hateful word to the other that relationship is no longer valid. It is over. We do not attack the ones we love. In my opinion we really shouldn’t attack anyone or anything, but abuse in a relationship? No way in hell. This isn’t a Lifetime Original Movie where the drunkard husband weeps and says “I hurt you because I love you.” You never intentionally hurt someone you love. You just don’t.

There’s no such thing as an accident either. When it comes to abusive relationships Zero Tolerance is the only acceptable approach. It is an unforgivable offense. And if it happens once I guarantee you that it will happen again. No matter how hard you believe your guy didn’t mean it, or was in a crazy place, or whatever, he will do it again. He will do it over and over again. And the longer you excuse him, the more codependent you will become. This will not end well.

Get the hell out. Now. If you need to call the cops or a helpline, do it. Right now. Tell your friends or family. Tell authorities. Run. Do not believe him when he has an excuse. Do not give him an excuse he can use. There is never a good reason to raise a hand to your partner and there never will be.

And if you are the one who has considered abusing your partner, I recommend that you also seek counseling. This is a completely inexcusable thing to do and you need to deal with it sooner rather than later. Get help and get it fast. Your actions could have very serious legal and social consequences.

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