The Complete McAuslan by George Macdonald Fraser

Author:George Macdonald Fraser
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Adventure Stories, Humorous, Biographical Fiction, Short Stories (Single Author), General, Scots, Sea Stories, Historical Fiction, War & Military, Humorous Fiction, Soldiers, Fiction
ISBN: 9781602396562
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Published: 2000-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

Our strategic withdrawal from the top floor of the Hotel Astoria was a fairly fraught business; for a while I didn’t think we were going to make it. Keil, with Fagan and Hamilton escorted by two of the Jocks, made it easily enough, simply by snarling menacingly as he descended and offering to murder anyone who got in his way. But my own exit was complicated by the fact that I’d promised to take Fagan’s bint along; she screamed and wept and tried to hide under the bed until the remaining Jock lost his temper, slapped her soundly, and took her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. We set off down, myself leading, and by this time the manager had appeared at the head of the excited multitude on the lower landings. At least, I imagine he was the manager – he was a six-foot Soudani-looking gentleman, with tribal cuts across his cheeks, a tarboosh on his head, and a British Army greatcoat. He was also carrying a club, and he affected to believe that, apart from disturbing the peace of his hostelry and forcing entry, I was intent on kidnapping one of his guests for immoral purposes. ‘Scotch bastard!’ was the chorus of his complaint, in which the assembly joined with a will. Fortunately two native constables arrived, a discussion ensued, and when I could get a word in - and that word was ‘smallpox’ – the more or less European element gave one great wail and fled. We inched our way out, the manager demanding to know who was going to pay for Messrs Fagan and Hamilton’s penthouse accommodation, so I gave him ten lire, at which he beamed alarmingly and asked me to stay the night with his sister. Honestly, I reflected as we hurried back to the truck, I’d have been better working hard at school and getting into university instead of letting the Army get its hooks on me.

We dropped the girl off at the hospital, and really the most painful part of the whole night was watching the poor soul’s hysterical submission to the vaccination administered by a medical orderly. For some reason I felt I owed it to Fagan to see the job actually done – I hadn’t worked it out, but I had a feeling that if it hadn’t been for her, he’d have been over the rooftops and far away by now. Anyway, the nurses took charge of her, I made my last call over the set to the battalion, learned that Hamilton and Fagan were in safe hands and every Jock was now accounted for, and that I could go to bed. It was after four, and the dark blue sky was bright orange at its eastern edge when I dismissed the truck at the barrack gates.

There were lights on in the H.Q. building and one or two of the barrack-blocks, but I was too bone-weary to go across. All I wanted was a long cold beer and bed,

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