The Bookshop at the Back of Beyond by Amy Sparkes

Author:Amy Sparkes [Sparkes, Amy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781529514476
Publisher: Walker Books
Published: 2023-01-05T00:00:00+00:00

Ah, Auntie Ophidia,” said Flabberghast, in a voice that was at least an octave too high. “How nice of you to drop by. We were just putting the kettle on.”

Ophidia narrowed her cold, purple eyes. “Your sister told me you had missed out the steps at the back of the House in your protection spell. You really should fix the spell, dear.”

“Apparently so,” said Flabberghast, tight-lipped.

“Oh, but you have no magic, do you? Such an embarrassing display at the Hopscotch Championship,” continued Ophidia, strutting closer. “An utter disgrace.”

Ophidia swished her emerald cloak behind her as her high heels clicked menacingly on the brick floor. She loomed over Dish, whose little mouth dropped open in alarm. The hand holding the parchment began to shake a little.

“Run!” shouted Nine to Spoon, who grabbed Dish’s other hand and headed for the kitchen door.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” said Ophidia. There was a twist of her wrist, and green strands flew out, slamming the door shut.

Dish and Spoon exchanged a worried glance and looked down at their pieces of parchment, then at Ophidia. Spoon moved his parchment over the fizzing gold blob on his kilt.

“Doomed, I tell you!” moaned Bonehead.

“You can’t leave Beyond yet,” said Nine, squaring up to Ophidia. “You can’t have done all your shopping. The bookshop still isn’t open.”

Ophidia strutted slowly towards Dish and Spoon and towered over them. “Well, while I’m waiting, I can deal with you, Professor.”

“Oh, Miss Ophidia, we’ve made brilliant progress,” said Dish, moving in front of Spoon and holding up her piece of parchment.

Ophidia narrowed her eyes at Spoon. “We?”

Dish looked at Spoon in panic.

Flabberghast dashed across the kitchen, his hand outstretched. “Tea cupboard!” he called.

ZAP! Ophidia was a tiny jack-in-the-box with fluffy hair and a long nose that reached down to the ground. Nine was a jar of secrets balanced precariously on the top of a broom handle. Flabberghast grew taller and bumped the ceiling. Eric sprouted wings and a beak. Bonehead’s bones all disconnected and whirled around, chasing each other in a large circle. Cas turned a funny shade of purple, then laid an egg. Dish turned into a bubble and floated towards the table. And Spoon became a giant blob of fizzing, sparkling gold. There was silence for a moment, then the jar-of-secrets-Nine overbalanced on the broom handle, smashed onto the floor, and turned back into normal Nine.

Nine shook herself back to her senses and looked around at the others as they returned to normal.

“Forgive me, Aunt,” gabbled Flabberghast, as he shrank back down to regular wizard size and Ophidia’s long nose vanished, “but I’m sure you will appreciate a cup of tea. Ah. Except…” He looked sadly at the smashed teapot.

Ophidia marched over to Spoon and held him in the air by one of his spindly arms. As the parchment dangled from his hand, she stared at his kilt, her eyes wide. Spoon tried in vain to reach for his sword.

“You put me down right now, or so help me, I’ll—”

But Ophidia ignored him.

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