The Black Trans Prayer Book by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0000000000000
Published: 2021-10-24T06:45:20+00:00

In June 2014, I took a small va­ca­tion to Wash­ing­ton, D.C. and when I came back home, I had a se­ries of epipha­nies that led me to the de­ci­sion that it was time to be the artist I wanted to be, to tran­si­tion, and to leave Louisiana and move there. D.C. was my choice be­cause it of­fered many things that Ba­ton Rouge didn’t. It was scary and it was okay. I had never ex­e­cuted any of my big dreams be­fore. There re­mained a con­flict even though I had al­ready de­cided I was go­ing and that was with my fam­ily. No one ever left Louisiana so I was em­bark­ing on a path that would ei­ther be ac­cepted or be a prob­lem. No one knew I was plan­ning to tran­si­tion. I needed to chant with more de­ter­mi­na­tion for my plan to fol­low through. As fright­en­ing as every­thing was, I knew I needed this change. This was the sum­mer where I learned I could die in dif­fer­ent ways. I was afraid of los­ing my life to vi­o­lence as a Black trans per­son but the longer I stayed in Louisiana sti­fling my­self, I was dy­ing any­way. I re­mem­bered that I could use my faith to move into the next part of my life with­out be­ing weighed down by the ex­pec­ta­tions my fam­ily had of me as an adult. Every time there was guilt and I felt the pres­sure to stay or post­pone, I fought harder. There was no op­tion. I re­mem­ber be­ing guilted by my grand­mother, who at the time, didn’t un­der­stand why I needed to go away. I thought of the Black queer and trans peo­ple in my city who were work­ing to stay alive, who felt lim­ited, who couldn’t be out, or couldn’t leave. And I didn’t want his­tory to re­peat for me. I wanted to keep my imag­i­na­tion and cre­ativ­ity in­tact. I was go­ing to be vic­to­ri­ous re­gard­less of how my fam­ily felt or how white su­premacy dic­tated how I was go­ing to live.

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