Stay by S. Mulholland

Author:S. Mulholland
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: S. Mulholland
Published: 2013-05-28T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

I awake the next morning feeling like what can only be described as ‘getting the shit beaten out of’, literally.

I lift my head from the floor and close my eyes as the soreness all over my body hits me.

I carefully stand up using the wall as leverage.

I look around to see that the bed is made and Zac is nowhere in sight. He probably already left for work. Good, that means I don’t have to see him this morning.

I limp towards the bathroom, tenderly caressing my stomach as I cross the room to shower and get ready for another day in hell. A sigh escapes me.

I shower at a snail’s pace because everything hurts so it makes it difficult to wash myself. Even though I should probably be a pro at showering hurt, since Zac using me as a punching bag has been happening for almost a year now. I get my few scratches and punches in here and there but at six foot five, he kind of overpowers me quickly so it doesn’t happen very often. But I still try.

As I wash my face, I feel the cut on my lip that I know has a bruise to accompany it, without having to look in the mirror.

I start to feel tears building up in my eyes but I will them away because I will not cry, not for a piece of shit that is trying to destroy me. I will not give him the satisfaction.

I haven’t cried since the day Jason told me he didn’t want to be with me. That day I died inside and became someone everyone wanted me to be. I became a stay at home wife or trophy wife is more like it, because that’s what was expected of me. That’s what everyone thought would help me.

Everyone wanted me to move on, including Jason who shattered my heart by wanting me to, but I did it. I physically moved on but my heart, soul, and mind didn’t. Jason is still in my thoughts and dreams. He haunts me everywhere I go.

I always wonder what happened to him. Where he is, if he’s ok without me, does he suffer like I do? Does he ache like I do?

Sometimes before I head off to bed on nights that Zac is gone away on business. I like to think that when I’m looking up at the sky at night and thinking about him that somewhere he is doing the same and we are both longing for each other. And that at that moment we’re both wishing things could be different.

“Dammit, Jason, I’m so empty without you. I miss you, I need you…please. Why didn’t you stay?—“I cry into my hands letting the rain hit the top of my head and trickle down my body until I’m pruney.

After getting myself into a pair of jeans and a red v-neck sweater that is sure to cover all the bruises on my stomach, I finish the outfit off with some black spiked Steve Madden pumps to not make me seem out of sorts.

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