Star Wars: The High Republic:: Midnight Horizon by Daniel Older & Lucasfilm Press

Author:Daniel Older & Lucasfilm Press [Older, Daniel]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Disney Lucasfilm Press
Published: 2022-02-01T00:00:00+00:00

“So,” the flickering image of Lula Talisola said shyly, “look…”

Zeen hit pause. She didn’t want to watch the rest. Every part of her was dying to watch the rest. This was agony. Suddenly, the cockpit felt very, very small and the galaxy very big.

She put a hand on the control console, trying to find something real to keep her grounded. All around her, the stars streamed past; the galaxy seemed peaceful. It was not.

Everything was war, inside and out. She couldn’t tell one sense of doom from another and had no idea which were the gentle nudges of the Force telling her that something was very wrong, and which were just panic. All of it was blotted out by a knotted feeling that reached from the core of who she was and wrestled through her insides straight to the dome of her head.

If this was love, love was the absolute worst.

“I don’t know how to say any of this. I’ve never been afraid to speak my mind or say my truth. I’m not even afraid of the Nihil or the Drengir, not anymore. I don’t fear death, Zeen, but I have no idea how to talk to you about my own feelings.” She stopped, wiped her eyes. Took a breath. “Make that make sense.”

It doesn’t make sense, Zeen wanted to yell.

Every inner alarm bell was going off at the same time. Run! her mind urged. Or was it the Force saying that? It probably was, because everything happening right now was almost definitely an abomination in the eyes of the Order! Jedi weren’t supposed to form attachments, and what was this if not exactly that? And Lula wanted to be the best Jedi of all time. That’s all she’d ever wanted to be. And then Zeen had shown up and ruined Lula’s whole life just by existing, just like she’d ruined—no.

Suddenly everything inside her stopped shivering. Krix had made his own choices. She knew that. And Zeen had made hers. And Lula would have to make hers.

But one thing Zeen did know was that she wouldn’t let herself become an obstacle in anyone else’s path to becoming what they’d always wanted to be.

And that meant Zeen had to get away. Far, far away. Away from all of it. The idea felt like a relief and a nightmare at the same time. Starlight Beacon had become her home. More important, she had found a home inside herself while on Starlight. She had found her true self—not the one that kept trying to be smaller, lesser, quieter, weaker, for people who pretended to love her but only as long as she played the role they imagined her in.

That wasn’t love, Zeen thought. Love was what she had with the Padawans.

Love was…

Entering the Corellian system, the navicomputer readout advised with a ping. Prepare to exit hyperspace.

Very well. Zeen clicked off the paused holo, grateful for the distraction.

She would help her friends in Coronet City, make sure they were okay. She’d keep a low profile.

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