Something like Lust by Piper Rayne

Author:Piper Rayne [Rayne, Piper]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Piper Rayne, Inc.

Chapter 16

Adeline

Clover Rose Siska loves her daddy.

We came home from the hospital two days ago, and she’s already managed to wrap Damon around her finger.

I lean my shoulder against the nursery door frame, watching Damon pick up our little girl out of her crib and cradle her in his arms. He takes her to where he usually does—the lounger he found at the baby store that he was obsessed with. As he sits, he notices me in the doorway.

“I got this one. Go get some sleep.”

I step in and sit gently on the floor, still a little tender. “I’m already up.” Plus, I love watching him with her, but I won’t say that.

I know I should be tired, but I feel as if I’m wired on some energy drink. My mom swears the exhaustion will come. It probably doesn’t help that Damon’s parents and brother are coming tomorrow to meet Clover. I’m nervous because I never used the interior designer, opting to do it with Damon. We actually make a pretty good team—better than I would have thought.

His eyes never leave Clover’s. He’s mastered the swaddle already, and I worry that maybe he’s a more natural parent than I am. He even managed to figure out how to open that damn stroller with one hand.

“All the other parents think they have a beautiful baby, but that’s just because they haven’t seen ours,” he says in what I’ve come to think of as his baby voice. He’s smirking at Clover. God, I love that smirk.

“Good genes, I suppose.”

“Mine might have won out a little more.” He laughs and winks at me. Clover squirms in his arms as if she doesn’t like him flirting with other women. “I’m kidding. She takes after her mommy, obviously.”

I blush at his compliment.

“Oh, she’s making those sucking lips,” he says. “Good thing you woke up.”

Now my anxiety ramps up. I’ve yet to be able to produce enough milk to breastfeed her, so I’ve had to supplement with formula.

I stand and head over to change positions with him, my heart already beating out of control from my nerves. He hands her to me, and we’re still perfecting the exchange, so we laugh, not knowing which way the other person is going with their arms.

“I’ll go make a bottle,” he says and walks downstairs.

“Just you and me, baby girl.” I rock her a little, but she’s already arching for my breasts. “We can do this, right? One day soon I’ll have enough for you.”

It’s the one area where I feel as if I’m failing us. I know how important it is to breastfeed. Everyone’s been nice about it—the nurses and my mom and Damon especially—but I can’t help but worry. They all said the more I stress, the worse it might become, but I cannot stop myself from fixating on it.

I unbutton my pajama blouse and slide over one side of my bra. She attaches easily, and I relax in the chair as she suckles, but I never have that overfull feeling like I need to release milk.

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