Scott's Blog of Doom Presents: The SmarK RAW Rants 2012 by Scott Keith

Author:Scott Keith [Keith, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: vl-wrestling
Published: 2013-04-17T07:00:00+00:00

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 07.23.12

Live from St. Louis, MO

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross (for one match)

Nice montage to start, featuring RAW wackiness and notable retirements. I think maybe if they paid respect to their past like that more often, rather than mocking themselves or intentionally forgetting their own history, these kind of self-congratulatory shows would seem less obnoxious.

Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show, and brings out D-Generation X, complete with Shawn, HHH, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg and X-Pac. Which would actually make the first time ever that all five of them have appeared as D-X. Billy Gunn is very smart to show up in shape since I’m assuming he’s going to be looking for a job. Road Dogg does his spiel, HHH does his, Billy Gunn and Shawn argue over who gets to do the “two words” bit, everyone has a grand old time. Especially X-Pac, who looks like he drank a fifth of SOMETHING before the show. Eh, it’s a celebration, who can blame him? Damien Sandow interrupts, railing against sophomoric and degenerate behavior. D-X talks it over (“You need to wait over there.” “That’s very rude!”) and then Sandow gets destroyed. This was all good fun, although my wife (who didn’t know the D-X guys) pointed out that really it’s kind of an unfair set of choices if your only options are being down with them or sucking it. What if neither one appeals to you?

Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara & Sheamus v. Alberto Del Rio, Chris Jericho & Dolph Ziggler

I suspect the intros will run longer than the match. JIP after a break with Ziggler working on Sin Cara, and Jericho going to a chinlock. Cara gets a rollup for two, but Jericho dropkicks him down again and gets the ARROGANT COVER~! for two. ADR works on the back and goes to a rear chinlock, but it’s hot tag Sheamus and he destroys Jericho with the usual. Rey disposes of ADR and Sheamus tries to finish Jericho with White Noise, but Jericho reverses out. Sheamus blocks the codebreaker, but Ziggler nails Jericho and Sheamus finishes with the kick at 4:12. This was fine. **

Charlie Sheen joins us live via a webcam from 1997, apparently.

Meanwhile, AJ defends her mental instability by pointing out the wackiness happening in the hallway, including the grown-up hand delivered by Mae Young. That’s a pretty obscure reference these days, actually.

Jack Swagger v. Brodus Clay

I’m going to refrain from comment on the announcers getting Sonic drinks delivered to them, because we don’t have Sonic in Canada anyway. Poor Swagger gets the Curt Hawkins non-entrance. Even Dude Love gets an entrance! Swagger attacks, and he’s done at 0:11. Remember when he was World champion?

Meanwhile, Trish Stratus teaches HHH some yoga tips, and it’s gets awkward.

Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan confers backstage with guys in white coats. This is never mentioned again.

Wedding time! And who else to conduct the ceremony but REVEREND SLICK! His delivery is of course brilliant here,

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