Savage Saints: MC Romance Box Set by Hazel Parker
Author:Hazel Parker [Parker, Hazel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-12-19T00:00:00+00:00
Chapter 18: Courtney
Jerry had told me to wait until I got out of the hospital to look for rehab centers, but I wasn’t willing to wait that long.
I knew I had come too perilously close to having my world end on me. Forget crashing down and hitting rock bottom—in my spot, the bottom probably should have given out. I was lucky even to have a bottom to hit.
And so, despite the massive hangover and concussion symptoms not ending and showing no signs of healing, I pulled my phone up after Vance’s last visit and began compiling a list of potential rehab centers and therapists I could use. It was honestly kind of empowering to have this experience—AA had always taught me that I had to surrender and give myself up to a higher power, but I think I had always misinterpreted that meaning.
I had taken it to mean I was weak and should just assume that prayer or community could make me stronger. Given I wasn’t particularly religious, I made my “higher power” AA and let them take over. But that had just made me weak, and I had removed my empowerment.
Instead, by deciding to take control of my life once again and make things happen, I finally understood what it meant. It didn’t mean assume I was completely helpless and that I was beyond redemption. It just meant that while I could do much on my own, I couldn’t do it all. I was fallible, but if I did enough to help myself, my peers would be in a position to help me get over the hump from there.
I honestly began to feel optimistic within just a couple of hours. I didn’t feel great, as the physical pain ensured that wouldn’t be happening for a little bit, but mentally, I was feeling great.
I didn’t have to go to the grave and follow Nathaniel. I could take care of myself. I could live the life worth living. I could enjoy myself without a bottle of booze.
I would come back as a better teacher. I would stay sober, truly sober, and I would teach without hangovers. I would continue to conduct theater productions at the highest level, even if it might result in some awkwardness with Alyssa there.
That was an interesting topic in its own right. As I scrolled through the rehab centers, I found myself wondering about what would happen with her and her father. He had surely told her what had happened by now. Would she feel comfortable working with me still? Would her father still want me to work with her?
And was her father really that bad, anyway?
Vance had withheld the truth from me about his affiliation with the Saints, but… he was a good guy. He had made a mistake, but who hadn’t? If anything, we were even.
A few hours passed, with my activities alternating between naps and preparing to go to rehab. I had a list of about half a dozen places around four in the afternoon when the nurse buzzed me in.
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