Red Sky at Morning by Margaret Kennedy

Author:Margaret Kennedy
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781473513327
Publisher: Random House

PART TWO

“Il n’y a qu’une manière de refuser demain: C’est de mourir.”

CHAPTER IV

PANIC

I

“OF course,” said Catherine to Charlotte for the hundredth time, “Philip will make a splendid husband. And everything about him is all right. He has money. He comes of nice people. But I did so want you girls to make interesting marriages.”

Disappointment fought with relief in her heart; for though Emily might have done better, she might equally have done very much worse.

“The difference in age is not important,” she proclaimed. “It’s often a good thing. I was a great deal younger than your father. And Emily wants somebody sensible to look after her. I’m sure Philip will do that. But he’s so … so …”

“Dull?” suggested Charlotte.

Catherine would not agree. She had always disliked the attitude of her children towards Philip.

“No, he’s not a bit dull. That’s nonsense. I only mean that I’m afraid, now, that he’s too old to have much of a career. And in a way it’s a pity she should marry so young. She’s so pretty and sometimes quite clever. If she had only waited, instead of rushing off with William like that, I might have taken a house in London for the winter and gone about with you both.”

Charlotte could not help a shudder at the idea.

“And then you might have married me off at the same time,” she said, rather bitterly.

“Charlotte! Don’t be so vulgar Such an idea never entered my …”

“Oh, I know it’s not called that. It’s called taking the child about so that she gets the chance of knowing nice people. But it means a hunt for a husband, all the same.”

“It means nothing of the sort. I know perfectly well that you don’t want to marry.”

“But I do, mother. I’d be a fool if I didn’t. Only I’m so ugly that I don’t expect anybody will ever want to marry me, so it’s no use thinking about it.”

“My dear Charlotte!”

“If we both worked very hard for it, I might conceivably get a husband your way. But it’s so unlikely that it’s not worth the waste of time and self-respect.”

“What do you mean by my way?”

“Going up to London and meeting nice people. But you know I dance so badly. And my nose gets shiny, whatever I do to it. Any little chit can beat me in that field. If I ever do marry it will be because I’ve met somebody who can forget my face. And that’s too small a chance to build on. I will not get old and haggard and bitter with disappointment, the way some women do. It’s not necessary, nowadays. I know plenty of girls like me, who can’t get married, but who have a very tolerable life of their own, with lots of interests in spite of it.”

“This is a way of talking which I cannot understand. I must say I think it’s rather coarse. I had no idea you were so anxious to be married.”

“I want it as much as any normal woman wants it.

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