Not a Word About Love by Hana Goldberg

Author:Hana Goldberg [Goldberg, Hana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-09-03T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

I have no idea how long it's been ringing. I’ve been in a deep sleep. Like after the flu. I dreamed about the class trip with my teacher, Ms. Cohen. Tamar was there, too. I kept my eyes on her, and she kept appearing and disappearing behind a huge waterfall. The flow of water increased, together with my anxiety. The ringing slid into my dream. My hand searched blindly for the phone.

"You have a guest," the front desk clerk growled. "It's - Sir? What's your name? Joe? - so should I send him up?" she asks impatiently.

"Fine," I reply automatically, tonelessly.

The new information hasn't reached my brain yet. My body curls up on the side, and my head goes back to the unsolved question: is my child still behind the waterfall?

A quiet tap on the door brings the earthshaking news to the forefront of my brain, after initial processing. The sudden comprehension immediately clouds my judgment, because for some reason I try to jump straight up from the fetal position I was in, to standing upright.

Dizziness. Ringing in my ears. The strip of light under the door darkens. I fall over, try to crawl toward the general vicinity of the door.

I bump into a chair. Hold on. Pull myself up. Stand. The strip of light returns. I advance with my arms outstretched, like a cartoon sleepwalker.

I open the door.

The first thing I see in the cruel fluorescent light of the hallway is his ears. They're big, and pink. When did his ears grow like that? His eyes are red. Like he's been crying.

"Hey," he says hesitantly, his red eyes capturing mine.

"Hey," I sway weakly, like after an epileptic fit.

I'm standing before him in Uri's faded T-shirt, and nothing on underneath. I must have morning breath.

He doesn’t say a word, but doesn't take his eyes off me.

I go turn the light on in the bathroom. Go back to him. Take his hand and carefully pull him inside, so he won't fall over.

I close the door, lay him on the bed, take his shoes off, and lay down next to him. I'm not sure whether the trembles I feel along the length of me are from his body or mine.

In the orange light from the bathroom, his face looks exhausted and sad on the pillow beside me.

"Sleep," I whisper. "Sleep now," and he looks at me like a tired child, uncertain whether to trust me.

I kiss his eyelids.

His eyes close. I hug him. Try to wrap myself around him; he's broad and muscular in my arms, and so fragile.

He holds my hand, and lifts it to his cheek, rubs it with his lips. His breath sends gentle tingles from my fingers down to my toes.

"Sleep, my love," I whisper in Hebrew. "Rest. I'll watch over you."

I don't know how long we lay there like that.

Finally, he sinks into a deep, healing sleep.

Sweetheart, how tired you are. Don't be afraid, Mommy won't hurt you.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.